I Will Find You
by Meriem Clayton
Summary: Season 9 spoilers. When Daniel is disgraced and about to be barred from gate travel and feels betrayed by Jack and Sam, he disappears. Will his friends and the woman who loves him allow him to walk away from them and himself? Warning SD not SJ
1. Chapter 1

This story was written strictly for the purpose of entertainment. No attempt has been made to copyright any characters which may not have been originally created by the author, and no profit is made from this work of fiction. Any original characters and the stories themselves are the property of the author. 

Thanks to my terrific betas, Jess and Monica. Monica will be collaborating on later chapters of this story with me. I'm looking forward to it.

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Daniel Jackson was sprawled at the back of a booth at the rear of a dockside tavern. There was an empty glass in front of him. It had been empty for some time. The tavern keep's daughter refilled his glass less and less frequently as she judged him nearer and nearer his limit. He had been moored here too long if some woman had started mothering him. He should have left a week ago, but his birthday had been close and there was something quite disheartening about celebrating, or more accurately, marking your birthday without a single, even slightly, familiar face.

Giselda was her name and he could see her, flitting from one group of customers to another at the front of the tavern and out under the awning in the fresh air. Periodically, she shot a quick, birdlike glance to where he sat, but she didn't come his way. He scooted down a bit farther and rested his head comfortably against the back of the wooden booth. He was prepared to wait her out.

At last, she came and stood before his table, her hands on her hips. "It's time to eat something, don't you think?"

Eat something… Ah! "Bring me one of those little round cakes then, the ones with the nuts on the top." She shrugged and turned. He caught her wrist, the bones light in his strong hands, "And a candle, as small as you have."

She snatched her hand away and looked daggers at him. "A candle! There's still light. Do you distrust my cakes so much that you have to give them very close scrutiny before eating one?"

"Trust me, Giselda. A candle and I'll pay you double."

Her face softened. "No need of that. I'll be right back."

She quickly returned and put a plate with the roughly 6 inch diameter cake precisely in its center in front of him and laid a candle down next to it. "You must join me. This won't work otherwise," he pleaded, going deliberately boyish and giving her the full wide blue-eyed puppy dog look because he knew it never failed.

"Papa won't like it. There are other customers." She was protesting but not moving away.

"None more regular than I. Besides it's not that busy today."

She slid in across from him, persuaded, and leaned forward on her elbows, watching him with curiosity. "You've had more than I thought," she commented, concerned, when he took the candle and jammed it in the middle of the little cake. It listed toward her but stayed upright. He fished in his pocket and drew out a wooden box of matches and lit his candle.

Her mouth was hanging open already but her jaw dropped further as he began to sing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Daniel, happy birthday to you."

"I did not expect such a fine singing voice, I'll admit," she said. Her brow knitted. "Who is this Daniel?"

He was glad she hadn't asked instead, "Where is it that they put candles in their food to sing about birthdays." He was a little tired of making up stories when he carelessly slipped and acted a touch too strange.

"He's someone I knew, or rather thought I knew, a long time ago. I haven't seen him in over two years."

A large, bearded man in an apron appeared at the front of the tavern and peered back toward Daniel's table. "Giselda, there's more than one customer here today," he called, more teasing than angry.

She leapt to her feet and was off leaving him to blow out his one candle alone. He was contemplating the cake and almost startled when someone else took up Giselda's empty seat. "Hello, boatman Lodi," an almost familiar voice said.

He looked up to see a worn older man smiling at him with good humor, holding a glass of brew and setting one down for Daniel. "Thanks," Daniel said. He was pleased not to have to negotiate his nightcap with the protective Giselda. Daniel searched his mind for the face. "You're Paco's father?"

The man was very pleased to be recognized. "Yes. It's quite good to see you again and in such good health," the man said. "Your bandana is slipping though," he added and pointed at Daniel's head.

Daniel slipped the faded blue bandana off his head, untied it, and reknotted it over his long hair while asking, "You're a bit far from home, aren't you?"

The man bobbed his head. "Yes. And it is a bit strange here, isn't it? They are nice enough folk but they talk a little funny and the food is sometimes strange."

"Why have you troubled yourself to come where you would have to eat strange food?" Daniel asked, afraid that he knew the answer. He would have to stop playing Good Samaritan. These people had too strong a tradition of repaying kindness. Sometimes he had a whole string of people following him around when he only wanted to be left alone.

"Why seeking you of course. After what you did for my Paco, I had no choice but to tell you of what has occurred."

"In Finlot, right, something happened in Finlot," Daniel said prodding gently. The local discursive style of storytelling, so common in semi-literate people, was usually entertaining but he was suddenly quite tired and wanted to eat a bite of his birthday cake, go back to his boat, and seek his hammock.

"It's your younger brother. He came a fortnight ago, showing an excellent likeness, and asking for you. He looks so like you that no one hesitated to tell him what they knew but no one knew very much. I alone kept silent because I remembered how you always sit against a wall, moor at the end of the dock, and keep your own council. I did not think that was the way a man acted who wanted anyone, family or not, to find him."

Daniel reached out impulsively and squeezed the man's arm. "You have my thanks. I really don't want to see my… brother but I don't wish him ill. He left the village quite well, I trust?"

"Oh indeed. He hired that good for nothing, Armando, to take him down river."

"That's good news. But if you could discover that I was upriver, he will eventually learn the same thing." Daniel was suddenly struck by a thought. "My brother, he actually talked with you as we are talking?"

"Oh, I see what you mean. No, he only knew the trade language and rather badly."

"Tell me anything else of what he said or did, if you would." Daniel sipped his drink and watched Paco's father's face.

"He explained that he was seeking you so urgently because there is great trouble in your home place. He mentioned the mother of your son…"

Daniel choked on his beer. "My what?"

"Ah. You did not know. Let me congratulate you! I treasure my Paco and I am happy for you that you also are a father. He said that she needs you. And, let me see, he was not alone. There was a very large, very dark man with him who spoke the trade language perfectly."

"You have more than repaid any debt you think you owe me," Daniel told his visitor. He raised the glass. "At this point, I would think this fine drink was payment enough. I really needed it." He drained the glass in a single swallow. "And now, my friend, it is time I left before my brother appears." He stood, clapped the fellow on the back, and threaded his way through the closely placed tables to the front of the establishment. He grabbed Giselda around the waist and swung her once around in the air. "Thanks for everything, kind Giselda. Be happy."

"You're off then and not to return here for at least a season, I suspect," she said a little sadly and kissed him on the check before he set her down and walked away. "You must come and see me the next time you're through or I'll put a curse on you," she called after him.

He waved to her and then walked rapidly toward his boat, as large a boat as one man could crew alone. For his first year on her, there had been two and it had been a dream to sail. The old man from whom he had bought ownership of half the boat and later inherited the other half had made a sailor out of Daniel. It had been something of an uphill battle considering that Daniel had previously only been on the water a handful of times to placate a friend with a mania for fishing but Carlos had been a patient teacher. Now Daniel felt a little ill at ease on land. It was amazing how quickly Carlos had become his father and how it had hurt almost as much losing this father as losing the first one.

The boat was provisioned already. He had truly planned on leaving in the morning but now he decided to get away from the dock and out into the darkness of the river, so wide it was almost an inland sea, despite the increased navigational risk of sailing in the dark. As the boat slipped away from the dock, Daniel contemplated the story Cam Mitchell and Teal'c had been shopping around Finlot. He was quite sure his former SG-1 teammates were the ones playing the part of his brother and his companion. They were lying. They had to be. The breeze ruffled the hair beneath his bandana and filled the sails and he moved efficiently about his little world on automatic while he focused on remembering the last time he had sex. Definitely well over three years before. He laughed at himself and spoke out loud, "You're so numb you haven't even really noticed." After the debacle with Sam, he hadn't had time to get involved with anyone before he disappeared through the gate. He seriously doubted there'd been a child before that. He could picture every one of the few women he had been with, casual sex never really an option for him. He really didn't think any of them had been hiding a child.

He had plenty of opportunities here – a single man who owned his own boat, washed regularly, had all his teeth, and was reasonably attractive – how could he not? Anything more than a casual relationship just didn't fit in with moving from one port to the next, keeping the nest egg of trade goods he had brought to this world replenished with a little trading here, carrying of messages there, and, in between, other odd jobs that found their way to him on the broad river at the heart of the continent. Daniel'd briefly toyed with asking pretty little Giselda to marry him and join him on his odyssey -- for the company, not really for satisfying his physical needs. He didn't love her, but she was pleasant, clever, and very dear. It was a short lived thought. He already had enough regrets and knew he'd hate himself even more for killing a little bit more of her dreams each day as she learned she was expected to live with a man who couldn't sleep because of guilt and drank more meals than he ate.

By tavern time the next day Daniel was on the opposite shore and a few miles further upriver. He got drunker than he usually allowed himself in a town he didn't know well. A lurching man alone was an inviting target and he'd survived this long by being very careful. But his habit of being lucky in small things and unlucky in all the ones that mattered held and he made it back to the ship without incident, flipping a coin to the man he had hired to sit at his mooring and watch his possessions.

Despite his buzz, he took off his shoes and then went through the ritual of cleaning his teeth and rinsing out his mouth. Daniel hated waking up with mud tracked in the hammock and the taste of the entire Fifth Army marching through his mouth in dirty boots. As for washing, he settled for splashing water in his face, getting the front part of his hair and his shirt sopping in the process. He stripped his clothes off, letting them fall where he stood. He grabbed up the shirt, did a half heartened job of toweling off his hair and making a pass under his arms, and let it drop again.

Daniel approached the hammock as if he were a cowboy about to mount a bronco. The sorry thing sometimes fought him when he tried to get in it if he was at all unsteady. The pillows he'd left in it seemed heavier than usual. When he rolled on top of them they moved. He grappled with someone unknown who didn't seem intent on harming him, merely shoving him over. "Your elbow is in my stomach," a voice said in English.

He almost fell out of the hammock at the sound of a language he had not heard in a very long time. Even when he talked to himself these days, it was in the local tongue. His befuddled mind tried to clear as he desperately worked to understand what was happening. Surely Mitchell would not surprise him in his bed and there was no way this lump was big enough to be Teal'c. The former had an exuberant, sometimes quirky sense of humor but this was too far out, even for him, and, as to Teal'c… He thought of Teal'c cozying up to another man, perhaps kissing him as a gag, and that would have to be Teal'c in an alternate universe, maybe Teal'c by another name altogether.

He was sure it wasn't Mitchell when an arm crept around his neck and a lithe body with softness in womanly places stretched out against his own. He became very aware that he was naked. She kissed him then, one arm sliding down his back to his bare buttocks. He could not help kiss her back while he sobered by the second. Eventually he was alert enough to recognize the smell that wafted from her hair and her soft skin. "Sam?" he asked.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ssssssh," she said and pulled him into another kiss. 

Daniel was through cooperating and broke the kiss immediately. He tried to get out of the hammock and dumped them both on the deck. Daniel untangled himself with difficulty, grabbed the nearest piece of clothing at hand, his abused shirt, and held it strategically in front of him.

He bent his knees and groped for his pants. She lay still watching him. She wore very little and the soft light of the two moons coming in the window glowed where it found her pale skin. Neither of them spoke. Her face was in shadow and her expression unreadable. Finding the pants, he turned his back on her, dropped the shirt, and hastily pulled them on.

"Get dressed," he said, not looking at her. He thought he managed to say it very calmly and unemotionally under the circumstances. He snatched a clean shirt out of his trunk and left the cabin, pulling it on while thinking his temporary watchman had definitely been overpaid.

He was standing in the prow, looking out at the dark water, when she came above deck. "Was I that wrong about how you feel about me?" she asked from a few inches behind him.

"My feelings were never the issue. So where are Mitchell and Teal'c?"

"On our boat. We're moored over there, past the boat with the square sail. I asked to have time alone with you first."

"You bring any one else with? Your boyfriend Jack over there too?" He turned at last to look at her.

"Daniel, if Jack was my boyfriend, do you think I would dare lie in wait for you in your bed?"

"I don't think I know what you are capable of," he said. She moved slightly and he warned, "Don't come any closer."

"Please let me explain. You've never really listened to what I had to say about it all." Her voice was thick and he could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"Oh by all means. Explain away. It's not like there's something worth watching on television." He swept his hand to indicate the sleeping town, innocent of electricity.

"I've practiced this you know but I can't remember any of my words." She was having trouble talking and paused to try win some control. "I don't suppose you could hold me while I'm talking to you?"

"I don't cuddle with something that's likely to bite me." He heard himself from far away and wondered when he had gotten this hard.

She crossed her arms defensively. "All right then. You've got to believe that I only told the oversight committee the truth. Plain unvarnished facts without interpretation except for describing you as heroic. The facts were clear. We were investigating a ruin and you opened a sealed room and, doing so, innocently triggered the release of a biological agent. Something put there long ago for germ warfare. It could have been anyone who did it. It just happened to be you. You did everything you could to help them fight the plague. You risked your own life repeatedly to save those people and you damn near died of it yourself."

"A quarter million of those people, Sam. Accidental or not, if I had never been born, they'd still be alive."

"If you're being that hard on yourself, why are you flogging me over it?"

"Because you had just finished telling me that you loved me. People who love you are supposed to believe in you even when you don't. There were only two people in that ruin, you and me. There is nowhere else they could have gotten the story. If you said what you say you did, how did it translate into a finding that I had been utterly reckless and irresponsible and a decision that I was to never be allowed through the gate again?"

"Daniel, I can't explain it. Maybe they just disregarded the testimony and found what they wanted to find. We both know that the lovely Senator Clanton wanted to crucify you over the Ori finding us but Landry, Mitchell, everyone stood tight and she wasn't able to do it. This time there was only me. Maybe… maybe they knew about us and were able to discredit my testimony based on our relationship." She bit off a muttered curse. "Daniel, I don't know but like you said, when you love someone you have to believe in them. Believe in me."

He stared at her. He wavered for just a moment but then there was the other thing between them, the 500 pound gorilla of a thing. He shook his head. "Go back to your boat, Sam. Tell Mitchell I'll talk to him in the morning. I won't sneak off. I'll be right here but I'm done talking now."

She came right up in his face, angry now. "I'm not done Daniel. You said you'd hear me out."

"No more tonight, Sam. Get off my boat." He went below deck and closed the door. He waited just inside the door for some time before he felt the boat's slight motion as she returned to the deck. He thought she was probably still standing on the deck crying. Just as he decided to go back on deck the boat shifted and he heard her walking away. The hammock smelled like her, damn it, and he didn't sleep at all that night. Instead vivid memories chased each other through his head. Memories of kissing her. Memories of planning a future with her. Much darker memories of how she had put Jack first, once again.

Daniel rolled out of the hammock as soon as the sky grayed and he could tell himself it was morning. He strapped his second knife back on his shin. The knife that hung from the scabbard attached to a thong around his neck never came off. He wondered if Sam had noticed it the night before when it had hung down his back. He carried his pants to the deck above and tossed them over a coil of rope and then dove off into the water wearing nothing but his knives. There were some unfriendly beasts in these waters. If a man was armed and stayed vigilant, they didn't need to be a problem.

He swam a mile up river and let the current carry him back to the boat. He pulled himself aboard, whipping his long wet hair back, to encounter SG-1 as a welcoming committee. He showed no embarrassment. The truth be told, he felt none. It was different than facing Sam the night before when his lust couldn't be hidden. Nakedness was common on the water if the weather encouraged it and he was tan all over. On this planet, a man naked on his own boat was no scandal, but anyone else boarding that boat without an invitation was. Daniel knew he could raise a hue and cry and boatmen would come spilling out of their vessels up and down the wharf and deal with the breech of good manners for him.

"Hand me my pants, eh Teal'c," he requested in this planet's trade language, a simplified Jaffa dialect. Teal'c bowed slightly and did as requested. "My thanks," Daniel said and pulled them on.

"It's good to see you Jackson, more of you than I was looking to see, but still good to see you," Cam said in English, the smallest of smiles twitching at the corners of his mouth.

"And I am most pleased to see you again, my friend," Teal'c said gravely. Sam didn't speak.

"I'm glad you're all well, but it doesn't make my day to have you showing up on my boat, unless you're looking to hire her at my highest daily rates," he responded, cutting Cam a break by sticking to his native tongue.

"Pimping your boat? I'm surprised at you, Jackson," Cam said, still on the brink of a smile.

Teal'c looked at Cam with studied bafflement. "I do not believe it would be safe to attempt to satisfy one's physical needs with a maritime vessel, Colonel Mitchell. There would be grave risk of splinters in tender places."

"This is what he has learned to pass off as humor," Cam observed, "deliberate obtuseness in dealing with the language.

Daniel realized then the close bound that had formed between Cam and Teal'c in the years he had been away and he felt a little jealous or perhaps more accurately, bereft. It reminded him of the friendships he had lost and his late foster father. They all stood looking at each other, Teal'c at parade rest, Mitchell almost sleepy looking, leaning against the mast, and Daniel throwing everything he had into a portrayal of studied disinterest. Only Sam, standing stiffly, wound tight as piano wire, allowed her inner feelings to show.

At last Daniel said, "I have a job. I took an advance last night to carry a message up to the next town and bring back a reply by day after tomorrow. If you have anything to say to me, it needs to be said quickly. I cast off as soon as you are off my boat and I've had a chance to drink my breakfast."

"You have a much bigger job with us, Daniel," Mitchell said. "We came to bring you back."

"I'm not going. I've been responsible for the deaths of enough people. I need to stay here where the low technology keeps me from screwing up more than a handful of people at one time." He began to move about, getting the boat ready to cast off.

Teal'c stepped directly in his path and clamped down on his shoulders. "DanielJackson, there have been developments. The Ori have become even more dangerous than we supposed but, at last, the Ascended seem disposed to possibly fight them for us. The problem is that they are not united and one faction has succeeded in making our treatment of you a litmus test as to whether we are worth defending or not." Teal'c spread his hands, palms up. "You hold the answer DanielJackson. I do not believe you were guilty of anything up until now, but if you do not come back with us, you could be guilty of the deaths and enslavement of billions."

Daniel remained standing only because Teal'c was holding him up under the guise of forcing him to pay attention. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, trying to defend himself against black spots that swirled across his vision. He had been drawn to the Destroyer of Worlds once, all unknowing that she was perhaps his fittest mate. He didn't want to show weakness, but he slumped against Teal'c at last and let the steady beat of Teal'c heart as he rested against his chest soothe him on some primal level.

Teal'c spoke so low, a whisper really, that Sam and Cam could not have understood, "You won't be alone."

Daniel looked up quickly into those deep brown eyes and steadied himself. "Thanks, my friend. I never had any problems with you," he said, speaking loudly enough that he knew Sam would be able to hear him. Again he marveled distantly at the hard, petty thing in place of his heart.

He straightened. "I took a job and I finish work once I've accepted money for it." He broke off then as there was a loud hail from another boat, almost the twin of his, gliding toward them. There were two men standing at the helm. One had silver streaks in his dark hair and, although rugged and vigorous, was unquestionably in his early fifties. His companion, leaning against him, was roughly Daniel's age, and the type that once was called a blonde Adonis.

"Lodi, you dog. We've been expecting to see you any time the past two weeks. Where you been hiding yourself?" the older man called.

"Here and there. It's good to see your faces," Daniel answered, his voice warm and affectionate.

"We wanted to be with you to lift a glass to Carlos what with his day of remembrance coming up," the younger man said. "We miss him something fierce." His face was upset and his friend gave him a squeeze and ruffled his hair.

"It still cuts like a knife," Daniel said. "I've got a message to run up to Karkach but I should be back in two days. Will you yet be moored here? I can think of no better way to remember Carlos than with our two closest friends."

"Done," the older man said and their boat passed on.

"Who are they?" Cam asked curiously, "and who is Carlos or I guess who was Carlos?"

"No problems at all with personal questions, eh, Mitchell? Carlos and I shared the boat and when he died I inherited his half. He was …" Daniel shook his head. "How do you describe someone who's really important to you? You don't see them the way others do." He hesitated thinking of his foster father, of how good it had felt to be someone's son again. "Well, anyway as to Jem and Tomas, Carlos and I spent a lot of time alone out on the water and it was fine but he was older than I am and it was a perfect fit hanging out with Jem and Thomas when we were in port. He and Thomas could talk about their stuff and Jem and I would go do something more active. To get back to what I was saying, I'll think about going with you while I'm gone and let you know when I come back."

"We'll come with you," Mitchell said, looking around the boat with interest. He slapped the mast beside him, "This is a sleek looking little lady you have here Jackson, a cut above the scow we rented in Finlot. I think I'd like a chance to crew. Used to sail back home and I kind of miss it."

"I know nothing of boats, DanielJackson," Teal'c said, "but I also would take pleasure in the trip. I see far too much resemblance between the hapless Skipper of Gilligan fame and the man who is sailing our current waterborne transport. I would like to leave that vessel before we relive the famous three-hour cruise, however much I might welcome an opportunity to meet Ginger and Mary Ann."

Daniel laughed. He couldn't help it. He clapped Teal'c on the back and said, "I've missed you Teal'c."

"I'm hurt," Cam said. "Surely you missed something about me."

Still laughing just a little, Daniel said, without rancor, "Give me until the end of the trip and I'll probably think of something."

Sam still hadn't spoken. "You could stay here on our boat and wait," her team lead told her.

"My place is here whether Daniel wants to acknowledge it or not. I'm going back to the other boat and get my gear. No reason not to give our thanks to our friend from Finlot and send him on his way, is there? Even if Daniel doesn't come back with us, he can still carry us to the vicinity of the gate – for his top rates."

"We'll be along in a minute then," Cam said.

She jumped to the pier and walked off briskly. Daniel looked at the two men and said, "I have to ask you something before you go get your stuff. I know I shouldn't but I have to."

"The Broncos did not win the Superbowl either of the past two years," Cam said, innocently. "I know it's been killing you not knowing."

"Amazingly enough, that really wasn't it nor am I interested in which state's representative captured the Miss America title. What I have to know is what the hell were you at, telling people that the mother of my son needed me?"

Was Cam blushing? He at least looked discomforted by the question. Teal'c lost it. Daniel was flabbergasted. Over two years with the ebullient Colonel had broken down some deep barrier and Teal'c was now a man who could just lose it. What else had changed? Teal'c doubled over laughing, huge laughs. "It's not THAT funny Teal'c," Cam protested.

"Oh but it is," Teal'c gasped. "It is his miserably poor command of the Jaffa language. I work with him every day, DanielJackson, but still he makes terrible mistakes. Sometimes I do not tell him because it is more fun to have him continue to make them. He has confused the word translated as erection and the word for idea. This is very entertaining in some sentences." He mimicked Cam's southern accident. "I think I have a really good …!"

"What!" Cam said in a minor explosion, cutting him off.

"He was trying to bait the hook, to make you think about SamanthaCarter. He was trying to say that the woman who wanted to be the mother of your son needed you. SamanthaCarter had gone on to the next little village to ask questions and was not around to hear him."

They proceeded to fill him in on what they had encountered since they had arrived on the planet. Then they began telling him gossip. Who had gotten engaged, married, pregnant, in trouble. He acted like he wasn't very interested, but he was dismayed to discover that he was acutely interested, starved for information about people he had decided long ago he would never see again.

There was some indistinct noise coming from other end of the harbor, but they were engrossed in their conversation and ignored it at first. Suddenly something made Daniel stop talking and signal for silence. Once he paid attention, Daniel had been living on waterfronts for long enough to realize he was listening to a brawl. He cursed himself for ignoring it for so long. Sam, what if Sam had gotten caught up in it? The boat from Finlot was moored in that direction. He vaulted over the railing and ran off toward the commotion, Cam and Teal'c immediately behind him. As his bare feet slapped against the boards of the pier, he told himself that Sam was a soldier and able to whip his ass. He had been able to defeat every waterfront bully he'd encountered so far. By simple deduction then, Sam should have no problem. Still he ran as fast as he could.

They rounded a pile of crates and found a major free for all winding down. The fight involved boatmen on one side and waterfront toughs on the other. The boatmen were having a good time and, as the Tauri arrived, most of the remaining lowlifes had pulled themselves into a sort of knot and had their hands raised, signaling a truce.

Daniel didn't see Sam among the combatants and began to anxiously scan the handful of moaning bodies struggling to stand up. No Sam. Then, over to the side, as if she had been flung there, was Sam, limp and unmoving. "No, my God, no," Daniel protested to someone he didn't believe in but wished he could call into action nonetheless. Not wanting her in his life and not wanting her to have life were two different things.


	3. Chapter 3

A special thanks to 'Fred' and Monica for the nautical information that assisted with this chapter and the next one. 

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Daniel bulled his way through those between himself and Sam, earning himself a couple of half hearted punches that he easily parried, and knelt at her side. He rolled her over and made sure that she was breathing. He checked her carefully, tenderly, for broken bones. Daniel smoothed her hair from her forehead and saw a huge bruise starting to form. Someone had gotten in a lucky punch. It happened to everyone sooner or later. Invincibility was for the cartoons, not real life.

She stirred and moaned and he pulled back quickly just as Teal'c knelt on her other side. By the time she opened her eyes, he was back a few paces and Cam had taken his place. "What happened, Sam?" Cam asked, concern in his eyes.

"Three guys thought I might want to party with them. They reeked like a distillery. I declined. They jumped me and I fought back. All these people came out of nowhere along with the party guys' friends and it just went to World War III in a heartbeat. I knocked some guy down and turned around right into this huge punch. I guess it knocked me out."

"It happens," Cam said.

As the defeated thugs started to disperse, one of them, a wiry weasel with dreads, noticed the new arrivals for the first time. "Lodi, you whore's son, fancy meeting you here," he said, his voice ugly with hatred.

Daniel ignored him and said to Cam, "Let's get her out of here."

Being ignored just didn't work for the man. "I owe you Lodi and now that I know you're on this part of the river, you better watch your back. I have a long memory and a powerful hate. Watch out for your lady friend's back too because I may just have to show her what a real man's got to offer."

One of Daniel's fellow boatmen approached the man and grabbed a handful of his shirt. "You mess with one of our brothers, you mess with us."

Daniel was immediately there and pulled the knife from his back. He put it to the thug's throat and cut a thin line. "You touch a hair on her head, Valentino, or cause anyone else to do it, I'll remove the possibility of you disgusting any other woman ever again and shove it down your throat," he snarled in a voice of pure menace. "You say you have a long memory? Then remember how it was between us before, and what you've seen me do to men like you, and stay away." He gut punched him hard and Valentino fell to his knees. Daniel leaned over, grabbed him by his hair, and hauled him back to his feet. "Understood?"

Valentino spat to one side, not quite brave enough to spit in Daniel's face. He gave a small nod, his face alive with hate. Daniel released him, shoving him back, and the man scurried away. Daniel gave the other boatman the bow that was the mark of respect. "I am Lodi of Enphata. I thank you, brother," he said. The other returned the courtesy. "And I am Draco of Jolesca. I know you by reputation, as do all boatmen, and I am pleased to meet you in person." He made a sort of salute to Daniel's companions and walked away. Daniel wiped his knife on his pants and returned it to the scabbard hanging down his back.

Daniel turned back to see Sam, hefted in Teal'c arms, her eyes now open in slits. Cam had retrieved her gear from where she had tossed it to free her arms to fight. All three were staring at him as if he was an unfamiliar zoo animal. "What?" he barked.

"You've gone a little Bronson/Dirty Harry on us, that's all. Together with the long hair, the deep tan, the knives, that long thin scar down one side of your face we've been dying of curiosity about but too polite to ask about, you know, all that. We're just getting used to it," Cam said.

Daniel expelled a breath. "This is the package. Maybe delivering it back to SGC isn't the best idea, eh?"

He turned to lead them back to his boat and he heard Sam ask Cam, "Did he even care I was down?" 

"You'll never hear it from me," Daniel vowed to himself. "You'll never know."

Sam was settled in the cabin. Daniel rummaged around and produced a cloth and some dried mossy stuff which he thrust at Cam who looked confused. Daniel said, "Make her a compress for her head. Get the hervine – the mossy looking stuff -- wet and put it in the cloth." Cam looked dubious. "It works. Carlos taught me."

Teal'c stayed below with Sam, but Daniel was disappointed when Cam reappeared, just a few minutes later. "Please don't let him be his usual Tiggerish self," Daniel prayed. "I'm not up for all that energy right now."

He turned back to the helm and took another pull on his bottle of breakfast. Cam came to stand behind him and survey the river ahead. There was little traffic out yet this morning and the fish were jumping above the waves, playing as they did when they weren't scared off the by the boats. Daniel took another drink and Cam said, "What is that stuff anyway?"

"You want to know? Here, try it." Daniel wiped the mouth of the bottle off on the tail of this shirt and held it out to the other man.

Cam took a chug and sputtered, sprinting to the railing and spitting. "My God, Jackson. That tastes like panther piss combined with rubbing alcohol. I can't believe you would drink it voluntarily."

"You don't like it huh? Maybe it's an acquired taste and maybe you should keep your nose out of my affairs."

Cam leaned back on the railing. "I just can't get my mind around the new you. What's been happening to you in this place?"

"It's not what's happened to me here," Daniel returned shortly.

"Look we need to talk about that whole reprimand thing and the decision to permanently bench you in some dead end planetside."

"Why? It's not my favorite topic. Until you all inserted yourself in my peaceful little life, I never really thought about it any more," Daniel lied.

"You need to know that it was all reversed. Jack saw to that. There was some very questionable stuff going on behind the scenes to railroad that decision and he exposed it all to the light. When you come back, you're reinstated, like nothing happened." Cam saw Daniel's sardonic expression of total disbelief. "Really. I've stretched the truth on occasion, but have I ever lied to you?"

"Probably not yet you'll understand that it amazes me that they don't care that I went AWOL when they had to let me go through the gate one last time because the Jinse wouldn't negotiate with anyone else. Did Jack also bring the 250,000 odd people that died back to life? I know Sam thinks he can walk on water so I figure that would also be within his abilities."

Cam just grimaced. He clearly was not finding this a fun experience. Daniel sighed. He really didn't like himself being quite this rude but, even more, he didn't like the fact that he still cared at all whether he was being rude. He had thought he'd dealt with all that. "Look, Cam, I know I'm being hard to get along with but I've got a reasonable thing going here. I've found just exactly the right balance of alcohol that will keep me numb, but allow me to sail without running my boat into something. I've built up a rep where the bad people leave me alone and the good people are really glad to see me coming. What more could a man want?"

Cam blew out a breath, looked at Daniel, and said, "For the moment, I've got to respect your choices as to, quite literally, what floats your boat, but when we get done with our little cruise, you've got to give some serious thought to all the people who need you." He pushed away from the railing and approached Daniel. He clapped him on the back, and said, "How about you let me have a turn. I used to do this when I was in high school."

"Oh, really?" Daniel said. He didn't move away from the helm.

"Really. Look it's not like I think you need a designated driver. I'd just like to try my hand."

Daniel stepped back, bowed slightly, and gestured to the helm with a flourish. He was, quite frankly, exhausted. Maybe if he napped a couple of hours, it would be better. The wind was steady so there wasn't much to be done with the sails. It would be longer than that before they reached the confluence with the Little Drake. He didn't want a wannabee piloting his ship through the tricky cross currents. "I'm going to lie down a little bit. You promise you'll wake me if anything, I mean ANYTHING, changes. I promised Carlos, I'd take care of his girl for him."

He pillowed his head on a square of sailcloth and lay down in the shade of the dinghy and was immediately asleep. He dreamed about Sam. At first, it was like he remembered it, the night she finally turned to him.

"It isn't working with Jack," she said awkwardly, staring into her glass of white wine as if it was a crystal ball.

"I'm sorry, Sam. The two of you waited an awfully long time to be in positions where it wasn't against regulations for you to be together. Maybe if you're patient, whatever it is will work itself out."

"It's not that there's an argument or anything. It's just that… well… he'll always be him and I'll always be me," Sam said, leaving Daniel uncertain what she meant.

"I'm not tracking Sam."

"He'll always like hockey and fishing and watching sports on television and glaze over when I try to talk about almost anything that matters to me like my work. He'll never be interested in going to an art museum or a ballet performance. He's had a kid and feels like he's too old to do the father thing again. If it was just a few things we didn't share, adjustments could be made, but it turns out that there really isn't anything but lust and the SGC."

"Oh," Daniel said. He was very uncomfortable with hearing about private matters between Jack and Sam. He knew Jack would cringe if he had any idea she was talking about this with him.

He said as much. Her response was astounding. "He wouldn't be surprised because… there's no easy way to say this except say it," she said. She took a deep breath, "I told him that all things I was missing, I realized I had always had with you, except the kids that is."

Then the dream went surreal. Just as Daniel was starting to kiss her for the first time after at least 4 years of fantasizing about it, Jack walked in. He looked at Sam and said, "Forget him. You want me." Sam turned from Daniel and walked to Jack. His dream self had no pride. He was begging her to come back and she just kept walking.

Daniel woke with a start. The boat was surfing over the water, very fast, too fast to control in the swift cross current. He realized the wind had risen and the sails hadn't been trimmed. They were already at the confluence with the Little Drake. They were running ahead of the wind faster than was a good idea, given the cross currents in these waters.

He got up rapidly and took in sail. Sam had come up on deck and was leaning over the railing, watching the boat's wake. She stretched out as if she wanted to touch the leaping fish swimming in a school to starboard. The boat bucked and listed to starboard in the cross current and, perhaps still dizzy from her minor concussion, she fell overboard. "Bring the boat around," Daniel yelled at Cam, standing stunned at the helm. He ran to the starboard side of the boat ready to throw her a line. He looked up river for just a moment and saw a sleek head swimming with the current, heading straight for Sam. For just a second, a wave of icy cold fear rode him, but almost as quickly he focused on what he had do and do fast. He ripped his shirt off while telling Teal'c, "I've got to keep that riverlion away from her. When the boat comes around, get a line to her."

Teal'c said, "We've got a zat in our packs below. I'll get it."

Daniel didn't stop. If Teal'c didn't have the zat in his hand now, he couldn't wait. He had lost Carlos to a riverlion because he hadn't been fast enough. He pulled the knife from the scabbard at his back, stepped up to the railing, and dove in the direction of the riverlion.

Daniel plunged into the waves upstream just 10 feet from the animal that, as he had hoped, immediately lost interest in Sam and rushed at him. He observed from some distant part of his brain that this was the biggest of its kind he had ever seen. The webbed feet had razor sharp claws on them and the animal was slashing at him as they closed. The trick, Daniel knew, was for him to get on its back but it was coming right at him. There was shouting from the boat and the riverlion was temporarily distracted and turned a fraction toward the sound. That was all Daniel needed. He grabbed the left front paw in his left hand and pulled it across his body. The riverlion was biting and swatting at his hand and arm but he kept it at bay with the knife. Then he was on its back and plunging the knife repeatedly into its belly. At last it convulsed and was still.

Daniel immediately released it and began swimming across the river so he wasn't where the blood would be flowing. This failed to put him significantly closer to the boat as it had reversed course to go back for Sam. It was now several feet down river from him and turned to the wind.

There was so much blood in the water. Most of it from the riverlion, but some, Daniel saw, was his. There was pink in the water around gashes on his left arm and the back of his left hand and more gashes on his side he hadn't noticed receiving. The riverlions were solitary hunters, but there were other nasty things, smaller, fortunately, but hunting in packs, unfortunately, that would be drawn by the blood. He had perhaps two minutes at the most. He was very tired and he could feel himself getting weaker. Part of him was fighting to survive, but, mostly, he was tired and sad. Fatalistically, he thought, "What will be, will be." 


	4. Chapter 4

A line came sailing over Daniel's head and he caught it as it began to float past him. He slipped it over his head and under his arms. "Pull hard. Fast," he screamed with no idea whether they could understand him over the wind.

Daniel pulled his second knife from its scabbard on his shin and scanned the water around him continuously as the rope pulled him backwards to the boat. He saw the reedrats coming, darting out to him from a marshy area along the shore. He readied his knives and waited. Suddenly a zat fired into the waters around him. It gave the hunters pause long enough for him to be hauled into the boat.

He was shivering violently when Teal'c and a dripping wet Sam pulled him over the railing. Reaction had begun to set in. The riverlions dealt some sort of poison in their claws. "Help me," Daniel said to Teal'c and used his friend to prop him up as he went below. He fumbled through the smallest of the chests where he kept the medicinal herbs and other medical supplies. With Teal'c holding him up, he stuffed some powdered herb in his mouth and handed a jar of salve to Sam who hovered next to them. "I'm about to pass out," he said, his speech already slurred. "Please clean the wounds and put this on them. If you can get any tea with that powder in it down me, it'll probably help. I'll be out of my head for a few hours, but just keep me from hurting myself and I'll probably be okay by morning." He sagged against Teal'c, the edges going black around his vision. "Tell Cam, drop anchor. I don't think he's up to sailing the boat in this weather and these waters."

The next he knew he was in the hammock. Sam had pushed a chest against the wall and was sitting on it, drowsing, propped against the planks. Cam slumped against the wall next to the porthole looking out. Daniel stirred weakly. His head was swimming and the taste in his mouth was indescribable. "How long?" he rasped.

Cam turned quickly from the porthole and took the two steps to his side. Sam jerked to alertness and shot up off the chest. "You're awake!" she said, relief plain in her voice.

"How long?" Daniel asked again.

"You were attacked yesterday afternoon. It's a little after dawn now," Cam answered.

Sam was checking his pulse, feeling his forehead, acting like Nurse Chapel. He brushed her away. "I'm just fine. We need to get underway. It's going to be hard to honor the terms of my contract."

"To…hell….with … that!" Sam said. "That thing could have killed you. No message is that important."

"They take contracts very seriously here. If I don't honor it, I am going to have some major work to do to reestablish myself."

"You won't need to…" Sam said hotly.

Cam cut her off. "We'll do the best we can to get there. I'm sorry about causing problems not trimming the sails. I was having too damn much fun, I guess. Didn't see the danger. Teal'c's up top watching out for things now so we don't get surprised by anything."

"Don't apologize. We get into a round of apologies and Sam and I will have you so beat with the things for which we need forgiveness -- you don't want to go there," Daniel said. He was struggling to sit up.

Sam made a small sound and left the cabin. "A little harsh, Daniel? What has she got to be forgiven for other than being a little over intense at times?"

"You really have no idea, do you? I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't fall over board on purpose to get attention." Daniel's hand went to his hair. It was smooth and combed. Someone had worked on him while he slept. "She do this?"

"You got to be a regular Ken doll," Cam said. "She cleaned you up, got you out of your wet things and into something else, with a little help from Teal'c. Then she worked on your hair, sniffling suspiciously the whole time."

"Did I say anything while I was delirious?" Daniel asked. There were so many things he could have said that would have given Sam encouragement he didn't want her to have. He still loved her despite not wanting to and he could well have said so.

"There was a lot of incoherent mumbling, I suspect in a lot of languages we don't know, including the main local dialect. The one thing I could understand was the name Carlos. You called out to him repeatedly, clearly in anguish. This guy was really important to you, I guess."

"I loved him," Daniel said shortly. He swung his feet over the side of the hammock and looked up to see Sam who had returned with a mug of something. She looked strangely upset.

"I thought some more of this tea might help you," she said and held out the mug.

"Thanks. Actually it will." He accepted the mug and drained it with a single swig.

He brushed past her to go up to the deck and watched while they hoisted anchor and set sail. He was willing to let Cam play sailor as long as he watched but there would be no more naps while they were under sail. It was late in the day before they reached little Karkach, slumbering in the summer heat. He might still be able to honor his contract since for their return, they would sailing downstream and the wind had shifted to be at his back. Business needed to be conducted swiftly so they could leave before dark.

He put the message packet in a satchel over a shoulder and took the bandages off his arm and hand. "What are you doing?" Sam immediately protested.

"If I'm walking around with riverlion wounds but no problems, my rep gets even scarier, but the bandage would look like weakness. My carefully cultivated image is what ensures the safety of my possessions when I'm not on my boat. Operating solo in this world is dangerous and I have to work at it. I ought to take on another partner, but I had to be at a place where I could put someone else in Carlos' place."

"Would it be weakness if we came with and watched your back?" Cam asked.

"No, but it would be good if at least one of you stayed with the boat. Normally I hire someone to watch my stuff."

"I'll do it," Teal'c offered.

"Thanks. Keep an eye out for Valentino. It wouldn't be like him to come after us in daylight, but he really hates me. He had ample time to get here before us. We shouldn't be more than a half an hour," Daniel said. He was already on the dock and moving toward the town's single tavern whose swaying sign identified it as 'The Riverlion.'"

Daniel looked at his companions as they walked. Cam wasn't particularly noticeable. Daniel was known and Cam looked like his brother. That would work. Sam was something of a problem. She was dressed as a man in loose cotton drawstring pants and close fitting cotton shirt instead of the long sleeveless shift worn by local women in the warm weather. It marked her as an adventuress, probably willing to do anything for a price. The men who had attacked her on the wharf hadn't been that far out of line by local custom. "Sam, we go in there with you dressed like you are, there's going to be problems. Surely you've noticed that there aren't many women who dress like that."

"I've seen some," she said defensively.

"Most, if not all, of whom were the local equivalent of prostitutes or at least not socially acceptable. Haven't you noticed the reactions you've been getting?"

Sam looked extremely uncomfortable. "So what do you suggest?"

"You and Cam need to act like you're together. Let them think that he's hired you for the night or made some other arrangement with you."

"Daniel," Cam said, "that would feel too weird. She's an officer under my command on this mission. I think she needs to act like your personal light skirt."

"Excuse me," Sam said. She looked rather affronted.

"Don't be that way, Carter. You know what I mean," Cam said. He was starting to look a little too amused by the entire situation to Daniel's way of thinking.

The upshot was that as they pushed into the tavern's gloom, Daniel had his arm around Sam. After initially appearing to be annoyed, she had decided to get into it more than Daniel thought necessary. As he stood waiting for the tavern keeper to look up from the glasses he was stacking, she pressed against his side and toyed with the drawstring of his pants.

The man continued to ignore him. At last Daniel said, his voice loud but polite, "I seek one known as Petras the Fat. "Can you direct me to him?"

"What would your purpose be? He's a decent man with a wife and little one and not the sort to go carousing." The tavern keeper, a tan, lanky man with a dyspeptic expression, looked with disapproval at Sam. He had, indeed, noticed them.

Daniel patted the satchel. "I bear a message from Jaqauin, the blacksmith at Inova."

"Who might you be?" came the next question. This fellow was born in the wrong place. The NID had a spot that he was supposed to be filling, Daniel thought grumpily. 

"I am the boatman, Lodi of Enphata," Daniel answered patiently.

"The one they call Strider? I know of you, honorably won scar and all." He favored Sam with another withering glare. "A word of advice, Master Strider, don't mix business with pleasure. You'll end up with a disease or worse." He pointed across the room. "Petras is over there by the hearth." Daniel followed the tavern keep's finger and saw a rail thin man relaxed over a mug of ale next to the cold fireplace. It was entirely too hot for a fire. 

They started across the room and were accosted by two inebriated men, one of whom crashed into Sam. "Hey, sweet stuff, I'll pay you double whatever he's offering," one said with a leer at Sam. 

"She's much too taken with me to even consider it," Daniel said. He kissed Sam thoroughly and possessively. She staggered a little, blinking, when he finished.

"Hey, Strider," the tavern keep called. "When you finish with Petras, check with me. I think I just found a piece of work for you." He gestured at a newcomer who was standing close by.

Daniel nodded. When he turned back to the two men, one stammered, "You're the Strider, Lodi of Enphata?" He looked a little green.

His much drunker friend said, querulously, "Don't care what his name is. We can show her a better time."

The first man said, slowly and enunciating very carefully, "Pay attention, Bono, this is STRIDER like in the boatman who did the deed for the Margave in Hacinetta."

There was a sudden attempt to sober up. "We're so sorry. No disrespect intended." They were both backing away. "Really, sorry, very sorry." They turned and hurried out the door.

Mitchell and Sam, though unable to understand any words except for Daniel's names, had certainly understood the big idea. Daniel was getting a little of that zoo animal perusal again. He grabbed Sam's hand impatiently and towed her after him to the nearest empty table by the hearth. "The two of you have a seat. I'll be right back."

He went quickly to Petras who smiled warmly when Daniel told him his errand and handed over the message packet. "I can only read the odd word out of four," he explained and handed it back.

"Of course," Daniel said. Reading messages and writing responses where required was part of the service he provided. He extricated the message, leaned forward, and read it in a low voice into Petras' ear. Petras became very quiet. The message was serious. Daniel had known when he accepted it that he might himself be in trouble if the Margave's representatives found him carrying it. Although it wasn't treason, it was perilously close which would be good enough for the Margave. The boatman were bound to a code of conduct for this duty and sworn to keep what they carried in confidence, but many would not have accepted this message because of the unwelcome strain on their sense of honor. Daniel had offered to commit it to memory, but the sender wanted Petras to have it so that he could share it with others faithfully after Daniel left. There would be some who could read. The sender was willing to pay the extra charge Daniel demanded for a written message of this type, but allowed Daniel to simply commit the return message to memory. As Daniel finished, Petras looked anxious and twisted his hands. His eyes darted around the large room, half full of men and a few women at the trestle tables.

"My friend, there may be eyes on you," Daniel warned. "It would be well to act more as if this was a happy message. There if another in the packet, shorter than this one. If you are asked, show the shorter one. It says that your friend wishes you well and would like to invite you to visit him for the midsummer celebration next week. You should give me an answer to both messages."

Petras adopted, to Daniel, a rather unconvincing expression of conviviality. He chattered to Daniel a lot of nonsense about the midsummer celebration that made very little sense, but included acceptance of the invitation for himself and his little family. At last, Daniel stood up and bowed. As he leaned over in farewell, Petras gave him the short answer to the real message.

Daniel returned to his friends. "Let me check with the tavern keep as to the other work. I will undoubtedly turn it down if it doesn't fit with going straight back to Ivona with Petras' response."

He made his way to the tavern keep who seemed glad he had shed Sam. He gestured to a compact man, well but simply dressed, who leaned against his counter. "This gentleman is a traveler like yourself. When I told him you'd come up from Inova and were likely going straight back there, he asked me to make him known to you."

The stranger smiled and bowed. "I am Clovis, an agent of the Margave. I've had a problem with my transport and would like to gain passage with you back to Inova."

Daniel tried to look regretful. "It pains me to have to refuse for it would be an easy fee to earn and it meets well for a man to make a record of willing service to the Margave. You perhaps know that I have done so in the past?"

Clovis bowed slightly in acknowledgement. "You cannot, it seems, provide such service at this time?"

"I have one too many people on my boat already," Daniel said. "Another man in addition to the two you see with me. They hired exclusive use of the boat for simple business here in Karkach and must return immediately to Inova. I have already taken their money and," he laughed lazily, "other payment from the woman that I doubt you could match." He was very glad Sam couldn't have possibly overheard or understood if she had.

Clovis laughed. "Indeed. Respect for contracts is the basis for our law. I would not interfere with your fulfillment of your agreement."

Daniel signaled to Sam and Mitchell to join him and willed himself to stroll unconcerned from The Riverlion. The entire time he felt a crawling sensation in between his shoulder blades. It was a bit much of a coincidence for the Margave's man to beg passage when he had just carried a message that was not in the Margave's best interests.

Once they were out on an empty street, Cam asked, "When did you start channeling Aragorn?"

"Oh, the Strider thing?" Daniel blushed slightly, feeling a little as he had been caught playing pretend. "There's a real tradition of storytelling here so I sort of stole the Lord of the Rings and told it to Carlos. Carlos was much taken with the idea that I was like Aragorn during the years that he was known as Strider. He started calling me that, Jem and Tomas picked it up from him, and it just caught on."

"Something I've been wondering about Jem and Tomas," Cam said. "They were talking to you in trade, not the local language. Isn't that unusual?"

"They were originally from up the Little Drake and things are … less accepting there so they relocated to the Drake. Jem is fluent in the local dialect but Tomas has no gift for languages," Daniel explained.

There was no more conversation as they walked the rest of the way back to the boat and clambered aboard. Teal'c reported that he had seen no one. Daniel was glad Teal'c had not had to handle anything ugly on Daniel's behalf. He could feel the bounds of obligation tightening again to his old friends and knew with a sinking inevitability that he would agree to go back with them. The longer he put off telling them though, the longer he could be Lodi, free and divorced from Daniel Jackson who had ultimately failed to give him a happy life.

They pulled up the anchor and glided back out onto the river. Both moons would be out tonight and Daniel planned to sail until just before the Little Drake emptied into the Drake. They'd stand at anchor there until light. He stood at the helm and gloried in the wind, the soft sound of the waves, the beautiful sunset, and his own small world on this boat that tied him to Carlos, his late foster father, the only human who had unconditionally loved and accepted him since he'd lost Sha're.

He was pulled from his reverie by Sam's voice, asking softly, "I'm sorry Daniel but I have to ask you something. It's eating me up."

Daniel looked at her reluctantly. He had become so much of this world that her choice of man's clothes was erotic to him and he didn't want to think about her that way. "You can always ask."

"Did I hurt you so badly that I soured you on women and you fell in love with a man?"

Daniel wasn't processing this question. "Did … I … hurt … you … so … badly … that … I … WHAT?" He looked at her in disgust. "Carlos was my father in every way that mattered. MY FATHER. Not all relationships have to do with sex."

"Daniel, I didn't know. It never occurred to me it would be a father and son sort of thing. Jem and Tomas…"

Daniel secured the helm and turned to Sam. He took her face in his hands and gave her the most expert kiss he could come up with. He meant to make a point but he was quickly as much a captive of his demonstration as she was. She cooperated completely and grabbed his shirt with one hand and circled his waist with the other. It was an almost endless kiss, the kind of kiss that creates a world onto itself. Daniel was badly shaken when it ended and he released her.

He put his walls back in place as quickly as possible and asked coldly, "Did that answer your question about my sexual orientation?"

She looked at him mutely, her mouth swollen, and tears shining in her eyes. "I… I…" She gave up in the face of the remote expression on his face. She walked swiftly away and he heard her going down to the cabin. His riverlion wounds throbbed but it was the very least of the pain he felt. 


	5. Chapter 5

The wind continued at their backs and they made good time that evening and then again in the morning. There was only about an hour left to Inova. Sam remained below decks and Teal'c found a spot he liked in the stern and spent time contemplating the wake and meditating. Cam stayed right in Daniel's face. He trotted out a dazzling array of arguments for why Daniel should return with them. His inventiveness grew as Daniel remained largely silent and apparently unmoved by all the obvious lines of persuasion. Daniel was taking a perverse sort of pleasure in watching him go through his song and dance and decided to wait until the absolute last possible moment to tell Cam he had won. Cameron Mitchell had to be one of the all time greatest bullshitters it had ever been his privilege to meet and he was in awe.

Daniel was blindsided when Cam abruptly switched to a completely new topic. By then, he was talking as much to himself as to Daniel, Daniel supposed, since he was waxing near lyrical about biscuits, a food to which Daniel was relatively indifferent. Biscuits were supposed to be the case in point to illustrate all the wonderful food Daniel hadn't been able to taste for nearly three years. One minute Cam was rhapsodizing about butter and flakiness and the next moment he had gone to the bad place.

"I can't stand it any more," Cam blurted. "I've tried to respect your privacy and Sam's, but it's messing with my mission and I'm going to ask. Why are you being such a hardass as far as she's concerned? She's more or less been throwing herself at you. She's had dozens of men after her since you disappeared and she's ignored them all."

"Dozens of men… Not you?"

"I never let myself think that way, Daniel. For three years, we've worked closely together and, most of that time, she's been under my command. Besides I know her history with you. Given the physical resemblance, if she came on to me, I'd figure I was just a stand in."

"How about Jack?"

Cam was perched on the railing, watching him shrewdly. "That's what this is all about, isn't it? Jack O'Neill."

Daniel shrugged.

"Daniel, get a grip. He's years, as in many, many years, older than she is. Suddenly it matters. You haven't seen him Daniel in awhile, but it's like he aged 10 years overnight. He's still in great shape, but he thinks like an old man now. He's going to retire as soon as we get you back. It's the only reason he hasn't already. He just wants to sit in a fishing boat somewhere and be left alone. Sam's not ready to be mothballed out in the middle of Nowhere, Minnesota."

A large ship appeared on the horizon behind them and Daniel steered closer to shore to give it as wide a berth as possible. Cam watched it with interest. "You don't seem too many of them on the river, do you?"

"Not many. Not this far up river anyway. The towns just get smaller and meaner than where you found me and people are pretty self-sufficient. Not much room for trade. Waters aren't navigable for the big ships after another forty miles or so. The few you see tend to be military vessels." He pointed to the scarlet pennant that floated above the main mast of the ship approaching them. "That would be the Margave's flagship. It does nicely to awe his subjects."

Suddenly there was a grating sound. The boat shuddered and then came to a halt. Daniel cussed in a multitude of languages for several seconds. "That's very colorful, Daniel, but not informative," Cam said. "What's happening?"

Sam and Teal'c had also joined them and were waiting for an answer. "I think we hit a sandbar. They shift over time and there've been some horrific storms this spring to help the process." He stood, his hands on his hips, his eyes closed, considering what to do and how to do it. "Okay," he said, looking at them all decisively, "Not to alarm anyone, but a boat unable to move like this out here away from any town is a target for river pirates. There are none in sight and the Margave's boat is still in view, but the story might be very different in an hour. The faster we get off the sandbar the better. What we need to do is lower the dinghy, row it out about 50 yards with the anchor, and drop the anchor. Then we winch the boat with the winches we usually use for trimming the jib to pull it toward the anchor. If we can twist the boat so the current helps us get it moving, I think we'll be okay. Teal'c and Mitchell, if you could go out in the dinghy. I think I need to be at the helm and dealing with the sails. Sam, you're with me, okay?"

They swung the dinghy out and down to the water and secured the lines. Sam and Daniel took the sail in so that the wind wouldn't be fighting what they wanted the ship to do. They worked the winches and the boat had just come free of the sandbar and was riding in the deeper water again when suddenly a huge log came rushing past the dingy in the swift current. Daniel watched it come toward them, absolutely helpless to do anything. Without thinking about it, he grabbed Sam's hand. The impact was sudden, but not a surprise to anyone. There was a sickening rubbing and grating as the log then scraped along the length of the boat before they saw it tumble past the stern and continue downriver.

Daniel dropped Sam's hand and raced below. He saw that the log had knocked a hole just at the water line and a stream of water was spurting through it. He grabbed a sack of pitch soaked rags, packed the hole, and tried to decide if he could make it to Inova. Times had become unsettled. The Margave had gone from being a fair ruler to one whose sanity was in question. He focused increasingly on supposed rebellion at the expense of keeping general order. His paranoia was actually beginning to produce the seeds of insurrections as people tired of the injustices that had come from his suspicions. Still the brigands preferred to operate away from towns and witnesses. He suddenly flashed on an image of Sam being stripped and raped by men like Valentino. The hole was manageable and they were about an hour's sailing from Inova. They would go on. There wasn't really another viable option.

Sam had followed him below and he turned to look at her. He thought about how he had grabbed her hand and how his first thought when he tried to decide what to do was fear for what could happen to her. The past was the past. So she had betrayed him with Jack. How did that compare to some of the things he had done? If the thing with Jack had meant as much as he thought it did at the time, would she be here now? If he had any hope going forward it would be to be forgiven and that meant forgiving others himself. "Sam," he said softly. "I've behaved like an ass. I'm sorry."

She looked at him for a long time. Had he waited just a little bit too long to apologize? Had he managed to exhaust all her patience? "Actually, Daniel, I'm pretty angry with you," she said at last. "I don't know if I'm ready to make up."

He nodded in acknowledgement. "You have every right to pissed at me for the way I've acted since you got here. Last night …. it really hurt me that you didn't seem to know what I'm about, but that wasn't what made me pull back so hard. What hurt more, and the reason I was so ugly to you, was how good it felt kissing you. How much it made me want things that I've given up on ever having."

She continued to look at him, thoughts he couldn't read chasing themselves behind her eyes. He spread his hands, "I don't have anything else, just my regrets."

He went to move past her, to go above decks and get the boat underway as quickly as possible. Just as he started up the stairs, she said, very softly, "It's okay. I'll get over it."

If anyone had been wearing a watch, they would have known that it was almost precisely a Tauri hour interval before they saw the brightly painted buildings of Inova appear and but a few minutes more when they were tying up to the wharf. Daniel left the rest on board to continue bailing water and managing the leak.

He walked quickly to the blacksmith's shop. The day was waning and the man was almost done closing up shop. Jaqauin greeted him uneasily and Daniel felt the twinge of misgivings he had had ever since Karkach grow into something more. "Your friend was most happy to receive your invitation to come and visit him," he said.

"That is fine, very fine. My wife will be most pleased. Petras' wife is her cousin, twice removed but family is all to my wife. We have to put family first, you know."

Was there some reason to be reading a warning into that statement? "I believe there was a matter of the second half of my payment?" Daniel asked.

He came near to Jaquain to take the coin and whispered the true message, his lips barely moving as he leaned close to take the money.

Jaquain looked anything but pleased to have the job completed. Daniel thought he would have liked better not to have gotten any answer.

"So business going well?" Daniel asked, his voice showing a good humor he didn't feel.

"With such a fine ruler as the Margave, we must all prosper," was the answer he received. This from a man who had made no secret to Daniel of his displeasure with their ruler.

"Do we have an audience?" he whispered to Jaquain. The man blinked and jerked his eyes sideways.

"I can't help but agree with you," Daniel responded, "If you have any more messages to carry or other business with which I can assist you and I am in port, you know where to find me," Daniel bowed and went quickly to arrange for repairs to the boat. He offered double price to have the men put aside other work and go immediately to the waterfront to begin to take care of his problem.

Daniel stuffed a change of clothes into a duffle with a few other things he didn't want to leave on the boat with the workmen. The others grabbed their packs and they made their way to Daniel's favorite tavern to seek lodging in the rooms above the common area. The boat was going to have to be lifted out of the water to patch the hole and they could not spend the night aboard.

Halfway up the dock with no one in earshot, Daniel said, "We may be in serious trouble. The message I carried was … not the sort of thing I want the Margave to know about. I've helped with a couple of other things along the same vein. One of the Margave's men showed an unhealthy interest in me in Karkach. Just now, when I delivered the answer, the sender seemed to be trying to warn me. If I understood him correctly, I think he was saying he might have to give me up to save himself and his family."

Cam looked at him curiously. "You'd think the sender wouldn't have told you what the message was if it was that dangerous."

"Here the law is that the carrier is as responsible for the message as the sender. We must read it and satisfy ourselves that it is not in anyway part of something illegal. Even if it isn't involved with something illicit, boatmen have paid penalties for messages that were untrue. Of course, we are also bound by a strict code of confidence. The penalties for revealing the contents of the message are also stringent."

Cam said, "I'm surprised anyone is willing to take messages under those circumstances."

Daniel shrugged. "It pays well." He scuffed at the dock for a moment with his sandal. "One other thing. I don't know how many rooms Sirus has available at the moment, but if Sam's in one alone, it's an invitation to trouble, particularly since Valentino's still probably hanging around." He looked at the three Tauri, so vulnerable in their general ignorance of the people and the customs. "I'm the one with the rep. The safest thing is for people to think she belongs to me."

"Makes sense to me," Cam said. Teal'c nodded.

"I agree," Sam said. Her face was carefully schooled in neutral lines.

Daniel ducked his head in quick acknowledgment and led them to the tavern.They found Jem and Tomas there ahead of them and spent two hours with Daniel's dear friends while they told stories that taught Sam, Cam, and Teal'c why Carlos had meant so much to Daniel. He knew he concealed his unease over their situation well – he was supposed to be a legend among the boatmen and the boatmen were the paladins of this world. Legends, after all, needed to project supreme confidence at all times and never let anyone see blood in the water. Midway through the evening, Jaquain came in, saw him, and stayed only long enough for a quick glass and no more than a nod in Daniel's direction, reinforcing Daniel's conviction that things were not as they should be.

Jem and Tomas seemed oblivious to something being not quite right, but Teal'c and Sam read Daniel well and Cam picked the concern up from them. SG-1 sipped rather than drank deeply, staying alert. They were drinking in Carlos' memory so Daniel had to have one, but that was all he really consumed. He smiled a little, noticing the surreptitious concern about his drinking anything. Lodi wasn't a man who was affected by a single drink, but they didn't know Lodi and kept trying to fit their Daniel on top of someone quite different.

When Jem and Tomas got up to leave, Daniel walked them outside, an arm around each. The street was quiet. He said to them in a low voice. "I think I'm under suspicion by the Margave's men. They can't be paying this kind of attention to me just for carrying a message but I don't know what they know or they think they know beyond that. You're at risk because you are my friends. I strongly suggest that you take your boat out of the harbor tonight and lay low somewhere for awhile."

Tomas said, "Only if there's no way we can help you." Daniel shook his head. Then Tomas looked at Daniel a long moment and added, "I think there's more you want to say."

Daniel smiled, appreciating the man's perspicacity. "I may be leaving with my friends in there and, if I do, I doubt I'll ever come back. I wanted to say good bye and tell you both how much I value you."

"No, Lodi," said Jem in a cry of distress. He hugged Daniel hard.

"If I go, it'll be because it's for the best for many people," he said. He released Jem and turned to Tomas who said, "We value you too. We don't agree on everything, but that has never mattered to you."

Daniel said, "Or to you."

He and Tomas hugged then and Daniel whispered to Tomas, "I know you'll take of Jem. He's so fragile. If the Margave's men ever got their hands on him…"

Daniel watched his friends walk toward their boat with an aching heart. He had hoped for few things more ferverently than he did that his troubles would not rub off on them.

Sirus had a long standing relationship with Daniel and gave them an ideal situation for the night, moving another guest to make it happen. They had two rooms with a connecting door at the end of the hall. The rooms had windows that allowed them to climb out onto the sloping roof of the shed at the side of the tavern. Of course, an enemy could attempt entrance through the same means. They agreed to stand watches through the night. Daniel also clung to the hope that if anyone came for them, Sirus would do what he could to delay them and give him so lead time to get away.

Daniel and Sam withdrew to their room. They unsecured but did not open the connecting door. Cam and Teal'c were talking and Sam said she needed some quiet to go to sleep. Daniel and Sam stood awkwardly looking at the single bed. "We won't actually be in it together much anyway by the time each of us stands a watch," Daniel pointed out.

She shrugged and said nothing. He took it to mean she was still angry. "Look, I'll just go next door and share a bed with one of the guys while the other stands watch."

He was past her and almost to the door when she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and yanked him back. "I've always wanted to make out with a guy with long hair, but my father being a general, I never even got to go out with one," she said very softly, mindful of the men in the next room. "In the years since then at the Academy and in the military, I haven't even really met any."

"So my kissing you would be a public service of sorts?" Daniel asked in a whisper, keeping it light, ruthlessly suppressing the bubble of hope building up inside until he was sure of her intentions. Maybe her silence had been because she was working herself up to make a move. Maybe.

"There'll be nothing public about you, Lodi-Strider-Daniel. You're about to become my private preserve completely. Don't start anything by kissing me if you don't understand that."

He encircled her with his arms and took a step back so that she was between him and the wall. She reached up and pulled off his bandana, put her hands in the silky hair, and pulled fistfuls around her face. He brushed her lips with his and then he kissed her, tongue deep, lip crushing kissed her. She brought one leg up and around him, the strong muscles in her thighs pulling him closer. His hands were everywhere. He slid one up her other thigh to her buttocks and lifted her so that both legs were around him and he was holding her against the wall. They kept kissing hungrily. Daniel wanted, with everything in him, to claim her, but when she reached down to touch him, he caught her hand. He pulled back to look at her. "I thought you told me three years ago when I wanted to make love to you that you were through with sex outside of marriage, that you'd been hurt too much when relationships didn't work out."

"I can't manage that kind of self control now. I've waited too long for you," she said simply.

"Sam, we're not out of here yet. I'm not reinstated and back to being the man you knew. You still don't know Lodi and you might not like him. I can't let this go any farther in this place so removed from your real life. We can be together up to a point, but we can't make love, not now. We need to stop."

He carried her to the bed and laid her down gently. "Good night," he said and kissed her forehead.

"Daniel, wait," she said, her arms still clinging to his neck. "Do you still love me?"

Footsteps crossed quickly to their door and Teal'c stepped in. "I think we may have trouble gathering outside," he said in a low urgent voice. Daniel and Sam stepped quickly and quietly to the window and looked out discreetly. Six men had gathered at the base of the shed. As they were considering their possible intent, several pairs of heavy footsteps sounded below and they heard loud voices inquiring after them in the name of the Margave. 


	6. Chapter 6

Cam joined them as they pressed against the wall on either side of the window and looked down at what was probably not a group of friends come to wish them well. Daniel thought about his knowledge of the inn. "One of you has rope or some sort of a line, right?"

Cam said, "I've got something."

"Grab your stuff and let's get across the hall before they come upstairs. We have only seconds," Daniel directed, grabbing his duffle and opening the hall door. He picked a room directly across from them and rapped on its door. "Urgent business for the Margave," he said in a low but commanding voice. "Be quick."

A confused and anxious little man opened the door to be immediately pushed out of the way by four people spilling into the room. Daniel quickly closed the door. He had his knife out and the man swallowed any sound of protest he had been considering. Cam crossed to the window, threw it open, and looked down to the alley. He reported, "No one on this side of the tavern." He secured the line and gestured to Sam. She looked anxiously at Daniel.

"Just go. I'll be behind you." Daniel turned to the man who was making ineffectual little noises. "I'm the one they call Strider, Lodi of Enphata. Have you heard of me?"

The man actually gulped. Daniel wondered if, after he left this place, he'd ever get that kind of reaction again. Sam was on the ground and Teal'c was on his way down. "They'll be up here in a moment looking for me. It would be well for you to have thrown the line down and to say you have not seen us. They won't believe you weren't an accomplice."

Cam said, "Daniel, now."

Cam had barely dropped to the ground next to Daniel when the line came snaking down behind him. He grabbed it up without attempting to sort it out and they all followed Daniel down the alley to a narrow street, empty of people, that ran at the back of the tavern. Daniel ran to the left, crossed the street and ducked into the next narrow alley, grateful that they were now out of sight of the tavern.

"We've got to get out of Inova very quickly," he told the others. "Going by boat is not a good idea. Mine is out of commission and it would be too risky for any other boatman to aid us. The Margave has a ship in the area. The water would be the first place they would look for me. This is a major search. There's something more going on than just the message I carried. This part of the country is pretty thinly settled when you get more than 20 miles from the river. It's all forest, some pretty serious wild animals, and mainly inhabited by rovers who've been driven out of their communities for various and sundry offenses."

"Sounds interesting to me," Cam said. "At least we're on the same side of the river as the gate. How about we work ourselves in that direction?"

"You never give up, do you?" Daniel asked. "If you still want me, by the way, I'll go back with you. You practically had me at hello, you know, but I've had a lot of fun watching you do back flips."

"You know, Strider old fellow, I knew that. You know why?"

"Why, Mitchell?" Daniel dutifully asked.

"Because if you really wanted to stay lost, you would have immediately gated to another world after you got to this one. We would never have been able to find you." Daniel had nothing to say. "See," Cam crowed. "I knew."

"If you two are done with one upping each other, or whatever this is, I think we should move along," Sam said.

Daniel led them down the alley to a narrow street and then through a succession of streets and alleys until they were on the downriver side of town. They came around a corner and found themselves face to face with Valentino and six of his closest friends playing some dice game. Daniel skidded to a halt and pulled a knife. Cam said, "He's got more friends behind us."

SG-1 could fight in ways these idiots had no knowledge of but they were outnumbered more than two to one and their opponents were all armed. The zats were in the packs and not much help. Valentino was grinning the least appealing grin Daniel had ever seen. If he was Strider, this man was Worm Tongue. Valentino strolled forward until he was close enough for the aroma of his unwashed body to assault them. "I see you brought your girl friend to see me," he said. He started to reach toward Sam with a large knife, intending perhaps to slash her clothes.

Valentino suddenly diverted his attention from Sam when a voice rapped out in trade, "Don't move. We've got you surrounded.

Daniel turned slowly toward the voice, disbelief warring with relief. Jack O'Neill and seven others in local dress stood loosely spread out with zats at ready.

Cam said, "Great timing, General."

Daniel jerked his head toward Valentino. "I know this thug and his friends. There's a major manhunt for us right now. If we don't kill them all, they'll help to lead the Margave's men right to us."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "What do you suggest?"

Daniel just knew that Jack thought he was going to get some sort of touchy feely moralistic diatribe from Daniel. Daniel shrugged and said, "They're vermin. Kill them all." Deep inside the voice he sometimes heard from the old Daniel protested but he was Lodi and refused to listen.

"In cold blood?" Jack asked.

Daniel made a face, sidestepped, and hit Valentino hard. A fight erupted and ended immediately as every last one of the thugs was permanently eliminated. "What the hell was that all about, Daniel?" Jack demanded.

"You didn't want it to be in cold blood," Daniel said. "Thanks for taking out the garbage, O'Neill." He turned to his three comrades from the inn. "I guess one of you, maybe all of you, were carrying locator devices?" Daniel asked.

"Never leave home without it," Cam said.

Jack came forward with his troops and made introductions. Daniel had met only one of Jack's company before. They were all professional soldiers with faces that didn't usually show much, but they weren't good enough to hide the fact that he was getting the zoo animal scrutiny again. He was seriously starting to wonder if they got out much. There were plenty of people on earth who still had long hair.

Jack made an abortive move as if to embrace Daniel or clasp his hand, but something in Daniel's body language and unfriendly expression stopped him. He slapped Cam and Teal'c on the back and gave Sam a quick hug. Daniel noticed how awkwardly she received it and realized that she was nervous about his interpretation of it. She'd damn well better be, he thought. He'd forgiven but not forgotten. If she wandered into Jack's bed again, there would be no coming back from that.

"They're looking for us pretty seriously. We need to get away from the river, get into back country to work our way back to the gate," Daniel informed Jack.

Jack looked at Cam for confirmation which pissed Daniel off. He just wasn't feeling the Jack love at the moment. "How did you come here from the gate, O'Neill? Across the grassland before the forest and then up along the river." Jack nodded.

"I'll tell you what Jack. Why don't you and your boys here and Teal'c and Mitchell take off and I'll make my way separately. I promise I'll meet you at the gate, but you'll be spared having to follow any kind of lead from me." He spoke in a flat, menacing voice, very soft but devoid of any warmth or even much humanity, "Because this is my turf and I'm doing this my way."

Jack actually came close to gaping at him, but of course didn't. The man had developed a frozen face somewhere in the past few years. Sam spoke in Russian, a language she and Daniel knew, but Jack didn't. It was likely few of the others present knew it either. "I notice you didn't assign me to either party."

"I didn't know where you wanted to be now that you had a choice," Daniel responded.

"Where do you want me to be?" she asked.

"I want you safe more than anything Sam. Probably I should have sent you all away as soon as I knew they were looking for me. Now, they'll be looking for the rest of you very close to as hard. So, you're safer with me. Jack has strength in numbers, but no idea at all of what he's doing here."

She looked at him troubled, but evidently decided that if that was all he was giving her now, it was enough. She said, in English, to Jack. "I'll go with Daniel."

"Wait just a freaking moment!" Jack exclaimed. "We're staying together."

"You think you can take me Jack? In a fair fight anyway? I'm not following you while you blunder through the woods."

Jack looked at Daniel, really looked at him now. Daniel helpfully moved out of the shadows where he had been since Jack appeared. He saw Jack take in the hair, the scar, the knives, the rock hard muscles, the way he moved. "What did you do with my archeologist?" Jack said. Maybe it was meant as a joke or one of Jack's sarcastic putdowns but it actually came out sad.

"Enough," Daniel said. He picked up the duffle he had dropped when Valentino had faced off with him. He jerked his head at Sam and started to walk away. He heard her steps right behind him.

"Okay, Daniel," Jack said. "You've got command until we get to the gate."

Daniel didn't feel any victory at all in the concession. He did think a little mournfully that he would definitely have to cut his alcohol consumption for the next few days. He'd have enough trouble getting them to listen to him even if they didn't see him drinking.

He moved them quickly out the back ways from the town and through the farm country behind it, avoiding houses and seeking out every stream he could to slow down trackers. When they came close to the last farm house, he left them to sneak into the lean-to built against the house to take toka salve. He left coins in payment, but hid them elsewhere in the shed so that they would not be found for weeks. He hoped they would merely think that one or the other of them had mislaid the salve, not that someone had been there.

When the cultivated land began to fall away and things got wilder, it was near dawn. He stopped them and asked them to form up for a briefing. He told them about the more significant of the predators that lived in the forest and the tricks for avoiding disaster with them. He then pulled out the salve. He opened it up and saw several of the group make faces at the odor that wafted out. "Smells really bad, huh?"

"Something died in that jar," Jack said.

"The neat thing is, it smells that bad to the forest animals too. Each of you take some and dab it on your pulse points like a perfume." There were blank stars from all, but Sam and the two women who had come with Jack. Daniel demonstrated and then handed the salve to Teal'c. "This will make all the difference in your general comfort level," he added. Teal'c had handed it to Jack, who was hesitating. "Do I have command or not?" Daniel asked.

"You have command," Jack said begrudgingly and applied the salve before passing it on.

Daniel led them into the woods then. They hiked for two hours, going steadily uphill before he called a halt on a treeless little knoll, a rocky outcropping of sorts, with three large boulders. "Let's stop here and try to get about four hours of sleep. We've all been up all night. Jack, would you care to arrange sentries? One last thing." He took the bandana off his head, scrambled up the largest boulder, and wedged it there so that it fluttered in the breeze. He jumped down and told them, "I hoping to find friends, but there are also some excessively bad people in this forest. Try not to be trigger happy and call me if you see anything."

The group dispersed to sleep or stand watch. Sam had been staying close to Daniel. She looked at him now, an appeal for understanding in her eyes. He could see the struggle she was having. She was afraid to take a chance of messing anything up with him, but she was a soldier on a mission. If she slept as close to him as a lover would, it would not be a good thing from the military perspective. He started to tell her he understood when Jack materialized in front of them.

"Daniel, you've got a bug up your butt and I was wondering if you would care to share why," he said. He was in Daniel's face and his jaw was jutted out, spoiling for a fight. "I've spent a lot of time over the last three years cleaning up after you and I'm feeling just a tad unappreciated at the moment."

Daniel gave Jack a 'do we really want to have this conversation with hell and half of Georgia listening' look and pantomimed a sort of shushing sound. In a quiet voice, he said, "Jack, you got me all squared away to come back to the SGC for your own reasons. I didn't ask you to"  
Jack moderated his tone, but not enough for Daniel when he heard what he had to say next. "I'm not just talking about the professional untidiness, Danny Boy. I'm talking about this woman next to you. She was, to put it bluntly, a basket case. I had more conversations with her about feelings in the course of a three month period than I ever want to have with anyone again, in toto, for the rest of my life. Then she quite talking about it, but that was almost worse. Sam wasn't there any more. There wasn't any spark. There was just a sort of wind up doll."

"Jack," Sam protested, softly. "That's enough. You're exaggerating."

"I thought it was bad when you Ascended. I just didn't know," Jack finished, ignoring her.

Daniel looked around. They were attracting covert interest from the others. "Jack, I do not want to talk about this now with an audience."

Jack dropped his voice to a whisper, "I'm not postponing this any longer." He stood his ground, glaring at Daniel.

"Okay," Daniel returned the whisper. "Sam chose me over you and you couldn't handle it. Maybe you felt guilty and tried to make things better afterwards, but they wouldn't have gotten so bad over the plague incident if you hadn't sabotaged me to begin with. Then you slept with her and you both lied to me about it."

Sam shook her head. "Daniel, I didn't sleep with him. I don't know why you believe that, but I didn't."

Jack had been standing thunderstruck. Suddenly, he lashed out toward Daniel with his fist. Daniel saw it too late to miss it or fully block it, but soon enough to reduce the impact. He immediately swung back and like Jack, got in less than a satisfying punch. The two men dropped to a crouch and circled each other. The rest of the camp except the sentries came toward them. Daniel rushed Jack and they were locked together, punching at each other. He dimly heard Cam say, "Leave them alone."

Part of him knew that Jack was no longer trying to hurt him, just defend himself, but three years of self-hatred, betrayal, and despair were fogging his mind and behind his punishing blows. Suddenly Sam was there, trying to separate them. "Please, please stop this," she begged.

"Sam, get away," he snarled.

"I love you Daniel. If you care anything for me, please stop." He was looking into Jack's face when she said it and there was so much pain and sorrow in those brown eyes that all the fight went out of Daniel. When he went limp and dropped his hands, Jack stopped fighting too.

They stood for just a moment, panting. The spectators began to disperse except for Teal'c, Cam, and Sam. Then Jack amazed Daniel. He put his arms around Daniel and hugged him fiercely. He further astounded him by talking about his feelings. "We'll talk later about why you believe what you do. It isn't true and you'll see that. I'm so sorry you've been in all this pain. God, Daniel, I love you. We have to make this right."

Daniel felt a sob in his throat. He couldn't cry, not in front of men he was trying to lead. He limited himself to returning Jack's hug. "I want to believe you. Thanks for coming to find me, Jack."

They broke apart. Sam had been just a couple of steps away. She closed the distance and took Daniel's hand. She looked over at Teal'c and Cam, drawing them into the group. "You should know that Daniel and I are together again."

Teal'c just smiled. Cam looked as if he was going to make one of his typical exuberant comments, but then thought better of it and simply said, "About time."

Jack said, "I'm glad. You believe that Daniel?" There was a little anxiousness in his voice.

Daniel didn't need to think about it. "I do."

One of the sentries called out, "We got company from the north." They moved quickly to take cover behind the boulders and looked in that direction. There were flickers of movement in the trees. There would appear to be at least a dozen in the advancing force. An arrow arced out of the trees and struck the ground at the foot of the knoll. It's flight was wobbly and when it struck they could see that it was because there was a strip of cloth tied to it.

Jack asked Daniel, without taking his eyes off the thinning trees approaching the knoll. "Are we in trouble?" 


	7. Chapter 7

An arrow arced out of the trees and struck the ground at the foot of the knoll. It wobbled as it flew and, when it struck, they could see there was a strip of cloth tied to it to account for its erratic flight. 

Daniel laughed. "We're probably not in trouble."

He stood. Jack hissed, "Get down."

Instead, Daniel moved away from the concealment of the boulder. "Who comes to treat with Strider?" he called loudly.

A sturdy young man with long blonde hair stepped free of the trees and returned the hail, "It is I, Enrico."

Daniel trotted down the slope and met his friend in the open. They threw their arms around each other and hugged. Immediately, another dozen came out of the woods. Daniel recognized several more old friends and there were loud greetings, back slapping, and hugging. Daniel heard some of his traveling companions descending the slope behind him, but he didn't turn or acknowledge them. He told Enrico, "There are many of the Margave's men hunting us."

"We know," Enrico said.

Lanky Fredi, standing next to Enrico, spoke up, "Three of us laid false trails for them." He added eagerly, "What great blow for freedom did you strike that they hunt you and your friends?"

"Perhaps you can help me answer why they hunt me in such force and with such determination. I did no more than carry a minor message between two towns."

Enrico looked discomforted. "You see us Strider. We are young. The older men with reputations have much to lose. It is mostly a movement of the young. If we want to succeed, we must attract a wider following. Since the months when you stayed with us, there are those that like to claim you whether you will or not."

"I understand your problem," Daniel said. He had steadfastly turned down repeated pleas from Enrico and others to join them and lend his prestige to their efforts. He felt too used up to join anyone's cause. He was beginning to have a sinking feeling that some of the revolutionaries had allowed others to think he was a full participant without his consent.

There was an attention getting shuffle behind him. Jack didn't appreciate being ignored. Daniel shot a quick glance behind him to confirm who was there. Apparently two sentries had been left at the top of the hill and the rest were directly behind him. "Enrico, these are my friends from long ago." He gestured to the soldiers at the top of the knoll, then to the soldiers who had accompanied Jack, naming each one. Then he named Teal'c and Mitchell. Finally, following local custom to introduce the most important last, he said, "This is the highest ranked of our company, Jack of Minnesota." He reached out and took Sam's hand and drew her forward. "This is Samantha of Colorado. She is my woman. We have vows of friendship between us," he said, indicating Enrico and his comrades. "I beg you to extend them to Samantha as if she were me."

This request was met with a bow. Enrico then said, "And I will introduce our company to your friends and your lady." He worked his way through the group and ended with a slight, blond boy in his early teens who hung silently at the back. "This is my younger brother, Dovio." Dovio seemed to shrink back in fear at being noticed and his eyes darted from side to side.

Daniel walked slowly to Dovio's side and said so softly to him that not even his own fellows could hear, "I did not get a chance to greet you just now. It is good to see you, my friend."

Dovio gave Daniel a very quick look and the shadow of a smile and just as quickly averted his eyes. Daniel clapped Dovio lightly and briefly on the shoulder and returned to Enrico. He was gratified that Dovio was slightly better and that he remembered him. It had taken him the entire four months he had lived with Enrico's band after Carlos died to reach this point with Dovio. Maybe there was hope for the boy.

"What is your plan, Strider?" Enrico asked.

"We go to Soplo through the forest," Daniel said. "I thought if we could safely go to ground for a pair of days, they would be ranging farther away to search for us." He had far more in mind than he stated. These men and the few hundred more that fought with them were of great heart and no military knowledge or training. He wanted to give them the benefit of Jack, Cam, and Teal'c's strategic and tactical insights. He had become an excellent street fighter, but Daniel himself had no training or knowledge in how to organize the bigger picture.

"You will come to our secret camp then," Enrico said.

"Do you think that the Margave's men have truly lost our trail and we can go with you safely?"

"I'm not schooled in winning battles, Strider, but I do know the woods. Get your gear and come."

Daniel walked with Sam. Dovio walked just a few paces behind them. If they slowed down to let him catch up, he slowed down too, keeping exactly the same distance between them. Finally Daniel took Sam's hand and went quickly to within a few feet of the boy. He spoke in trade so Sam could understand, "Dovio, this is Sam. She is new to our world and knows little of the forest. I worry about her safety. Could you walk with us and help her to know the dangers and learn the woods?"

Dovio hesitated. He gave Sam a quick furtive look. He bobbed his head in agreement and, from then on, he walked next to Sam. He spoke hesitantly at first, but her quiet acceptance and appreciation gradually relaxed him and he began to talk almost excitedly of the plants and the little animals they saw.

Enrico led them at least 10 miles at a brisk pace to a concealed cave mouth. They equipped themselves from a stash of torches and threaded through narrow passageways, being careful to keep their footing where the floor was slick from the moisture that ran down the walls. Their route came out in a large cavern, bedecked with stalagmites and stalactites. Fredi showed them another hidden passageway off the cavern that took them through more dank, slimy twists until they emerged into sunlight in a small valley with no other way in or out. Half of the floor of the valley was a village of tents. They were greeted enthusiastically as they entered the camp. The rebels spilling out to greet them were mostly teens and young men but there were a handful of women and a few older men sprinkled among them. They even saw a few children.

Enrico showed them a place for them to make their camp and invited Daniel and Sam and any others Daniel cared to bring with him to come to the fire of Jessa of Idio, the nominal leader of all the smaller bands like Enrico's, for supper at sundown.

Jack, Cam, Sam, and Teal'c sat with Daniel while he gave them a dump of everything he knew about the current political situation and the rebel bands. Jack asked, "The boy, Dovio, what's his story?"

Daniel said, "The Margave's men came after their family. Their father was a blowhard who shot his mouth off criticizing the Margave in front of the wrong people. Enrico and his older brother were away from home when they came. They raped and killed his mother and his sister in front of Dovio and they were starting to abuse him when Enrico surprised them. He and his older brother drove them off, but the older brother was killed. Enrico and Dovio are all that is left of their family."

Sam asked quietly. "How old is Dovio?"

Daniel said, "Thirteen. Twelve when it happened." He pointed to a young man, sitting in front of a nearby tent, sharpening a knife. He was barely out of boyhood and had a patch over one eye. "They put his eye out because he looked at a Margave's bully boy's girl friend or she said he did. I counted once and, at that time, fully a third of Enrico's force had been mutilated in some way. Almost a half have had a family member murdered or disappeared and believed to be dead or held by the Margave.

Jack said, "And all they have is a handful of boys willing to fight this man?"

Daniel said, "People are mostly spread out over the countryside and in small villages and towns. As long as they keep their heads down, there's a good chance it hasn't affected them. It's the ones that have been hurt who are motivated to rebel. Over the past two years, the injustices have escalated and I think we're rapidly reaching a point where a substantial portion of the population will be connected to some form of abuse through someone they care about, if not directly."

He looked at career warriors in front of him. "The problem is that they have had no successes so far. They know how to handle weapons, but they don't know how to fight together or mount a campaign. I've given them some advice, but military history was always the least interesting part of the subject to me."

Cam said, "This little detour had as much to do with your desire for us to help them as it did with eluding our pursuers, right?"

Daniel laughed. "I'm pretty transparent, huh?"

"You look hard and cynical," Jack said.

Daniel interrupted to say, "Thank you."

"But underneath is still our save the universe, one planet at a time, Dr. Daniel Jackson."

Daniel studied the ground. At last he said, "Here's the thing. I'm not at all sure Daniel Jackson is still in there. I've done things he would never have done. You saw it back there in Inova. I don't know that I can turn Strider off when we get back to earth, live in a house, walk around without a concealed weapon on me."

"Do you want to?" Sam asked. Daniel knew the question was bigger for her than it sounded.

"In a lot of ways. I'd like to be able to sleep at night again and there are people, like you Sam, like all of you, that are important to me. Some things are better here though. It's nice getting respect, being taken seriously." Daniel looked over at Cam. "I always appreciated that about you, Mitchell. With most of the SGC, I got treated like some sort of a wooly headed academic no matter how many times I was proven right or how much combat experience I had."

"You're including me in that 'most' aren't you?" Jack asked.

Daniel simply said, "Don't you think it's a fair assessment?"

Sam made a sound but didn't say anything. Daniel said, "You too Sam." He gouged viciously at the dirt for a moment with a small stick. "Look you all came here looking for Daniel Jackson. You found someone who used to be Daniel Jackson. Maybe the parts worth saving are either here in Lodi or are salvageable from somewhere deep inside. You're not getting Daniel Jackson back again though, not ever."

Dovio came to lead them to Jessa's fire. He appeared so quietly that they didn't notice him for a moment. Daniel was able to coax a smile from him and he nodded shyly at Sam, but he avoided looking at the others. As they followed him between the tents that were scattered more at random than in neat rows, they heard a commotion in the direction of the cave entrance to the valley.

Dovio said, "Someone comes." His voice was nervous.

Daniel put a hand lightly on his shoulder. "Let us go see which of our friends we can be happy to greet."

They saw a small party of men approaching the camp. Two were half supporting a third man who was much older. He was out of place for Daniel and it took a moment to realize that this was Tomas. A Tomas unaccompanied by Jem. He closed his eyes and gathered his strength for a moment, knowing that in all likelihood a blow was about to fall. They were just a few feet away when Tomas looked up and saw Daniel. His face crumbled and tears began to run flow. Daniel went to him swiftly and embraced him as Tomas sobbed against him. "Jem is dead, Lodi. My beautiful, gentle, sweet Jem who never hurt anyone is dead."

"How Tomas?" Daniel asked, fearing the answer, fearing any more guilt than he already bore.

"A friend hailed us as we were walking toward the harbor. He needed help with unloading a wagon. Jem insisted that we had time. We didn't. The Margave's men got to our boat just as we did. They took us both, asking questions about the rebellion. They took him off and went to work on him first. They brought him back to where they were holding me, bloodied and battered and sobbing, after what seemed like an eternity of listening to him scream and cry out. They underestimated me and one of them got too close. I got his knife and held it at his throat and forced them to let us go. We got away and went along the river to find a hiding place. He wouldn't talk to me, or let me examine him, but I thought I had calmed him. We fell asleep at last and, in the night, he got up, made a noose from his pants and hung himself on the tree that sheltered us."

Tears coursed down Daniel's face then. "There will be payment, Tomas."

"Only if we kill all of them," he said. "I do not know their names or how to find them nor did I probably see the faces of all who hurt him."

Others had gathered around and a kind-faced woman, Fredi's mother he later learned, brought a cup of something. "Have you slept since your friend died?" she asked gently.

Tomas shook his head. She looked up and Daniel and said, "Let us take him to a place to sleep and give him the sleeping draught. Let him have forgetfulness for awhile."

Daniel helped Tomas to follow her lead to a place that was probably the woman's own bed. She settled him and made him drink the tea with the drug. "Go and meet with Jessa," she said to Daniel. "I will stay here with him. There are things you men need to discuss."

Daniel's companions had trailed behind them. Jack said, "Daniel, I know you want to go back there this minute and kill. Think of what of Tomas said. Vengeance is going to take more than a raid. There are thousands dying here perhaps, and they have faces for you, but there are millions who are dying out there and each day we stay here their number rises. We need to get the Ancients moving."

Daniel glared at Jack and then dropped his eyes. "My head hears you, but it's hard to care about the millions when you see pain in front of you on the faces of those you love."

Cam said, "Let's go talk to this fellow, Jessa. General, at this point, could we not take a day to talk with them about strategy, to teach them a few things?"

It was so arranged and the next day, Teal'c, Cam, and Jack each found a way to consult and the male soldiers with them were also given teaching assignments. Sam's knowledge and that of the female SG team member who had accompanied Jack was more problematic since the culture wouldn't allow these men to listen to advice about fighting from a woman. Lieutenant Perez had medic training and she exchanged information with the women about treating wounds. Sam chose to sit with Dovio and draw him out. Daniel spent the day, drinking with Tomas, and remembering Jem.

When they met at their campfire in the evening, the military men were discouraged. "We just scratched the surface," Captain Milligan said. "They told me about a recent ambush where they lost as many as the Margave did. Not the basic principle of an ambush, you know."

"It's as if this is completely alien to the way their minds work or something," Cam said. "They are clearly not stupid, but Teal'c and I didn't feel like they were getting it, did we?"

Teal'c said gravely, "I did not. They are most militarily challenged."

Daniel said, "This is a strange place to find political correctness T. Let's face it. They are clueless and most of them aren't going to live much longer."

Jack said, "Today was like giving an aspirin to a man with cancer."

They all sat in glum silence. Daniel said, "Not to change the subject, but I've been wondering since you showed up, Jack, how a general at your stratospheric heights got cleared to lead a combat mission like this."

"At my advanced age," Jack added.

"I didn't say that," Daniel quickly responded.

"The thing is," Jack said ruefully, "I've become quite inconvenient. When the administration changed, I was out of the post in the civilian agency. I keep bringing up questions no one wants to answer and they've been pressuring me to retire. I think there is a real hope I won't come back from this."

On that note, Daniel went off to try to sleep. He and Sam were maintaining correct behavior for a deployment and she was across the fire in a tent with Lt. Perez. He wasn't sleeping and was immediately alert as the flap of the tent Enrico insisted he use suddenly fluttered. He immediately knew it was Sam. No one else smelled like that. "I know I'm not supposed to be here and I'm going to do my best to be gone in the morning before anyone sees me, but I had to find you. Every minute you are not right in front of me, I feel like I've lost you again."

He threw back the blanket and she stretched out next to him. After he had tucked the blanket in around them, she said, "You never told me when I asked before, if you still loved me. Is that part of the missing Daniel we have to find again or is it still there?"


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to Chas who provided some information about military tactics. 

SSSSSSSS

Daniel deeply regretted the lack of light in the little tent. He wanted her to see his face, to be able to read his expression. "I love you, Sam," he said. He hoped his voice was enough to carry the depth of feeling behind the statement.

She reached out and touched his face and he turned his mouth to her palm and kissed it. He shifted their positions so that she was partly beneath him. He kissed her eyelids, her forehead, her cheeks, and then he feasted on her mouth. He went no further, but dropped his head to bury his face in her neck. She reached up and stroked his hair. She was surprised to find that she loved its silky strands falling around her. "Why did you make me wait so long to hear that?" she asked. She meant to tease, but she just sounded hurt.

"I'm afraid that you… that when we get back, you'll realize that I'm different and that you don't love me any more." He sighed. "That's probably bullshit, Sam. I don't understand myself at all. Maybe I'm afraid of that. Maybe I'm just having trouble loving any more. You really ought to run in the other direction."

"Do you remember when we watched Paul Newman and I can't remember her name, the actress he was married to, Joanne Woodward, maybe, in "The Long Hot Summer," and he tells her something like 'You can dye your hair, you can change your name, and you can buy a bus ticket for as far as you can go, but you can't get away from me.' I told you that you'd better watch out, because unlike Newman's con man, I'm a trained professional and I will find you."

He laughed and said, "That sounds a little stalkerish."

Sam said, "Whatever it takes. You belong to me." She wrapped her arms around him. "And, well I was physically attracted to you before, but it was more the consequence of loving you rather than starting with lust that led to love."

"Was it lust first with Jack?" Daniel asked. He was just curious.

She made a hissing sound. "Pretty much. But let me get to my point. The way you look right now… Let's just say I've been walking around in a constant state of arousal. This rule of yours that we don't have sex until we leave here, until everything's back to normal, is making me completely crazy." She asked hopefully, "No chance that you've changed your mind on that?"

"No chance. Honey, you really should go back to your tent. It'll be very awkward for you if we fall asleep and don't wake up in time." He rolled off her and she reluctantly threw the blanket back, sharing one long last intimate kiss with him first.

The next morning, they broke camp about an hour after dawn to head toward Soplo and the Stargate, hidden in a cavern deep in that district. Enrico, Dovio, and a handful of others were going to go with them to the end of the forest to provide an additional advantage in negotiating the forest. They were going to leave in an hour, but Jack decided that he wanted a second chance to try to get the group he had worked with the previous day to understand the finer points of what he called the "hit and scoot," a fast attack whose point is to grab what you can and then get out as fast as possible. When deployed as a surprise move on the enemy, it can leave them confused and striking back in all directions. Finally the rest of the group went and stood, fully loaded with their packs, in plain view, and he gave it up and joined them.

They reapplied the toka salve which was much less noticeable than before. After constantly being surrounded by others exuding the odor for days, Milligan theorized that they'd burned out some key olfactory gland. One of the other men wisecracked that he hoped he didn't find skunks attractive when he got home. He said it would make road kill even more depressing than it already was. His lightheartedness was reflective of the general attitude held by everyone but Daniel, glad as they were to be heading home. He, by contrast, almost felt as if his steps were getting heavier as the miles to their destination passed. He missed the water, he missed his boat, he missed the simple and undemanding life he had built for himself. Realistically, he knew that even if he stayed here, he could no longer resist joining the rebellion. Jem's death had seen to that.

The value of the salve was proven when they stumbled on a scene of carnage late in the day. The campfire was still smoldering with a burned mess in the bottom of the iron pot hung over it. Blood and gore covered the camp site with bits of human bone and shreds of cloth all that was left. Dovio turned white and hurriedly walked away. Daniel saw Sam follow him at a discrete distance to make sure he was okay, but she gave him the privacy he craved. She later told him he had thrown up until he had the dry heaves. Enrico found a leather pouch. Daniel investigated it and discovered papers that confirmed this had been a party of the Margave's men. "If you don't respect the forest, this is what happens," was Enrico's summary. They took the time to scrape out a shallow grave and put the remains in it though no one was inspired to speak any words over it.

Their route was a bit circuitous because their guides continued to maximize the time spent wading in streams. Daniel found himself walking next to Jack as they squished along after fording yet another one. "Not crazy about the wading," Jack groused.

"Something else you might not be too crazy about, but I've got to ask you Jack," Daniel said.

"This is going to a feelings conversation?" Jack asked warily.

"Actually no. More like fact finding. I've come to the conclusion that the memo that Clanton's aide showed me and the things that were said to me about where you stood on the plague incident were manufactured. That isn't all that implausible when I think of the other things that power hungry virago was responsible for. I am having a little more trouble understanding what I saw as far as you and Sam. I swear I believe the two of you, but I need to understand how I could be getting it wrong."

Jack shot him a sideways look. "Tell me what you think you saw."

"After what I was shown, I was heart sick and furious. It seemed incontrovertible proof that you had betrayed me. I called Sam and got no answer. God I needed her. I checked my messages and she had left me one saying that she was going to try to go and talk to you and see if there wasn't something else you could do to intercede for me. I didn't much like the idea of her with you, as angry as I was, not to mention the fact that I was more than a little jealous since she'd been with you for awhile before we got together. I went over to your place to get her out of there and have it out with you. The door was unlocked and I just walked in. I figured if I knocked, you might choose to ignore me. There was music playing, a couple of glasses on the coffee table, and various articles of clothing strewn around. I went toward the bedroom and saw you with a blonde woman. I didn't see her face but the hair, the body, it sure looked like Sam. You had your hands in her hair, your eyes shut. I got out of there as fast as I could. You were in the place where you don't notice anything else and I doubt if you ever knew I was there."

Jack actually blushed. Daniel couldn't believe it. "I had just come home with a woman I picked up in a bar. Sam was there while I was gone and left a note under the door. This is pathetic and I would ask you to never tell Sam about it."

Daniel looked at him puzzled. "It wasn't a blow up doll, Jack, I know that."

"Very funny." Jack sighed. "Look I picked this woman up because she looked a hell of a lot like Sam. I was having a really hard time dealing with having lost her. It's a crummy reason to be with a woman and it made me a heel afterwards, although she was only looking for a good time and probably wasn't particularly damaged. Still, I've never been into being anybody's Mr. Goodbar."

Daniel laughed. "I never would have come up with that explanation in a million years. You were so casual about the whole thing that Sam's feelings were actually a little hurt I think. She didn't want you to suffer, but she didn't want your reaction to the break up to be, 'whatever,' which is what you managed to pull off."

"I'm good," Jack said. "Do you know that there was actually a joke t-shirt some people put together – something like 'The Many Faces of General Jack O'Neill.' They were all pictures of me looking exactly the same, but with different emotions as captions."

Daniel laughed and suddenly he couldn't stop. He had to leave the trail and let the rest of the party pass him by as he kept laughing, holding his sides. At first, Jack just stared at him and then he joined in. They fell in with the tail end of the party so that they wouldn't hold anything up, but their behavior was completely inappropriate for a party in hostile territory. They still couldn't help it. Finally, they subsided to occasional chuckles. Sam had joined them by then. "You going to tell me what this is about?" she asked.

"No," Daniel said. Jack shook his head. "But," Daniel said, "Colonel Doctor Samantha Carter, I do really, really love you and ask you to forgive me for every crummy accusation I've made." A huge grin broke over her face and she further compromised correct military behavior by giving him a kiss in front of God and country.

Jack whispered, "You do realize that this whole story will be told often enough that there won't be a man or woman in the SGC who hasn't heard it."

"Yeah," Daniel said. "Ask me if I care."

Late in the day, Enrico, who had been scouting ahead, came running back to them. "Margave's men up ahead coming back this way," he gasped out. Jack looked at Daniel. Daniel said, "I'd love to ambush the bastards, but we don't know how many of them there are, or more to the point how many of their fellows are in the vicinity or might come looking for them. The price is too high."

"Good decision," Jack said. "Command requires you forget your feelings. I know you are still in the throes of blood lust over your friend." He clapped Daniel on the back. Daniel and the SG personnel all immediately got off the path and hid. Enrico and his companions worked their way rapidly backwards, checking for any sign of their passage that they had overlooked in their routine track covering actions. Fortunately they had forded a stream not a quarter of a mile back, so they did their job rapidly.

Ten minutes later, a long file of men passed them. Daniel counted over 30. It was entirely possible they weren't even after him since they were moving toward Inova instead of away from it. Some of them looked like thugs, but many just looked like men who had been drawn into this work for a variety of reasons. Daniel really didn't like looking the enemy in the face like this. The old Daniel found it too easy to be empathetic and too hard to hate.

It was three days later before they reached the end of the forest. They bid farewell to Enrico, Dovio, and the others. Dovio shyly produced a small bunch of wildflowers, a little wilted from being hidden in his shirt for a mile or two, but still pretty. He bowed and handed them to Sam, who caused a huge blush on the boy's face by kissing him on the cheek. Daniel noticed that Jack had not joined in the farewells. He was looking at him in puzzlement when Jack came to him, hugged him, and said, "Time to return the favor. I left you on Abydos. You need to leave me here."

Daniel realized he wasn't completely surprised. Jack had seemed to gain energy back at the camp. He had come here to put a coda to his last career. Now he had a new one. "Be sure. You're giving up a lot."

"Not really. Nothing except my friends. Somehow I think you'll be back."

Jack turned to the rest of the group and announced, "I've decided to stay here."

Mitchell and Sam both asked the same question Daniel had. Teal'c asked nothing. He seemed to instantly understand. Milligan and the others accepted this as Jack's decision. Jack had one more chore. He produced two pieces of paper. "Mitchell, will you take these to my ex-wife, Sara and to Hank Landry. I think they're the only ones left who need a personal farewell." Cam nodded and carefully placed the two letters in an inside pocket.

He took out one more piece of paper. "This document needs as many of you to sign as witnesses as care to. It gives the right to use my home, my boat, and my fishing cabin to Daniel and Sam until I come back. If I don't, they become their property. You were never too crazy about the boat before Daniel, but I think you're going to need it now."

"Jack, you don't need to do this," Daniel said.

"This feels way too much like a last will and testament to me," Sam protested.

"Too damn bad. I'm doing it anyway." Daniel accepted the document which ended up with the signatures of everyone present.

Jack said, "Let me be the one to walk off and not the other way around. Somehow it seems easier."

There was an uneasy silence over the group for the rest of the journey. They were exposed in the open grassland and felt vulnerable. All of them were preoccupied, on some level, by the turn of events with Jack. Daniel gave command to Cam. He had no natural advantage here and his heart was too heavy to really function in that role in any case.

They reached the gate without seeing anyone except two parties in the distance that never came any closer than the horizon. Daniel felt like he was leaving an empty world. Mitchell dialed the coordinates and the team began to go through. Daniel hung back until only Mitchell, Sam, and he were left. "You're next," Cam said.

Daniel wanted to run in the opposite direction. He looked at Sam, felt her hand clasped in his, and tried to summon something, he wasn't sure what, from deep down inside. She quoted, "Whither thou goest I go. If you want to stay, I'll stay with you."

"There are too many lives at stake," he said.

"Maybe the right quote is MacArthur's," Cam said.

The three said in unison, "I shall return" and went through the gate.

THE END


End file.
